Here's The Buzzzzzzzz

One day while sitting in church the Pastor was preaching and he said that we should ask the Lord for a new Biblical name. It didn’t really make a whole lot of sense to me because honestly I hadn’t been paying attention, my mind had been more on whether Monkey was behaving in Sunday School so I missed the whole why thing, but I bowed my head and said, “God, I’m not sure why he said we should do this but if You want to give me a new name then I want all You have for me so…uhhhh I’d like a new name please, if that is Your will? Thank you? In Jesus Name, Amen”. Can you tell I was unsure on the whole thing? And that was that.

On to the rest of the sermon, I WAS paying attention, although I don’t recall what it was about now because it was in 2009 and what happened next trumps what Pastor had to say anyway. I’m sitting on the 4^th row from the front. Amanda H. was in front of me to the right in the center. Hubby was to my left and in my right ear (which I’m 40% deaf in) I hear a faint whisper, “Deborah”. I got all hot and sweaty. My heart was racing. No one was next to me on that side, I looked. We were the only ones on the whole pew! I looked behind me. No one. Hubby asked if I was okay and I nodded yes. I’m thinking someone behind us named Deborah must have a loud husband. Again it happened, only this time it’s louder and in both ears but also in my head I hear, “I will call you Deborah”. I thought I would throw up right there. Deep in my heart I knew it was for me but I asked hubby if he said anything. Nope, okay. Did he hear anything? Nope. Am I okay? Because my face is pale and I look freaked out! I picked up the Bible and looked in the concordance and guess what? There IS a woman named Deborah in the Bible. God has decided to rename me that. So, that is my Biblical name, I still go by Ann because it’s easier than telling people…well…this! But on my pray Shawl in Hebrew I have the name Deborah embroidered on the case.

I try to be completely transparent with this blog so I have one more confession to make here. Listening to the rest of Pastor’s sermon that Sunday morning was one of the hardest things I’ve EVER done because after God speaks something like that to you even listening to an anointed man of God preach an interesting sermon is difficult! All I wanted to do was devour the book of Judges! I’d never read it and knew nothing about her so I was itching to get home and dive in!

I’ve looked up why one would ask for a new name and here is what I’ve come up with.

1.      It changes your standing with God. Like Jacob (supplanter or deceitful) to Israel (prosperous). So he went from deceitful to prosperous.

2.      It is a fulfillment of a promise. Sarai (princess) which was a promise to Sarah (mother of multitudes) fulfillment of the promise.

3.      It indicates a change in the direction of the life of the one whose name has been changed. Saul’s name was changed to Paul.

So while my name change is only symbolic I believe it has impacted every area of my life as surely as if I had gone to the court house…

The name Ann means God favored me. I like that, He has favored me. He favored me so much He sent me Jesus Christ and THAT is favor.

Deborah means bee. How peculiar, my husband’s last name means keeper of the bees and my new name means bee…hmmmm?  You don’t mess with a bee. Bee’s sting and they can do quite a bit of damage but they also produce honey that is sweet and a little known fact about honey, it has no expiration date. Bacteria cannot grow in honey, it will never go bad. It is my sincere prayer that my works here on earth for Jesus Christ go on and do not “grow bacteria” so to speak. That I leave a legacy that will go from one generation to the next.

The Woman at the Well

I have been studying "The Woman at the Well" (John 4:4-42) since I met Jesus in 1998. This story can be related to most of our lives in some fashion. I remember the first time that our choir director asked me to portray this woman in our Easter Program long ago how deeply I connected to her. She didn’t know that, she didn’t know my history. If you are unfamiliar with this story I encourage you to read it. It is very powerful. I believe the story is trying to teach us to forgive, love, and respect each other regardless of circumstance or status. I would like to know what others think about this topic and how you can relate it to your own life. I would sincerely appreciate your comments on this.

In OUR portrayal of her life she comes to the well during the hot midday and meets Jesus, realizes He’s the Christ, her life is changed and she runs back to the town meeting the women who had scorned her singing to them, “You’ll never find my story in a fairy tale, I wasn’t like the other women at the well, my life was full of pain, hurt, rejection. My loneliness I didn’t want to show, but Jesus saw the desert in my soul. Drink from this water, drink from this water, and you will never, you’ll never thirst again. Drink from this water. Drink from Living Water and you never, you’ll never thirst again.” Then suddenly the ladies who had scorned her accepted her and followed her back to Jesus and everything turns out lovely. It is a role I am honored to have been asked to play and am thankful that God has allowed me to bring her to life but really, there is only so much you can do in 4-5 minutes during a musical/drama. Let’s take a more realistic look at her life and her interaction with Jesus.

This was a socially unacceptable encounter that had occurred! Not only was she a woman, she was a Samaritan woman AND she was a LOOSE Samaritan woman! Being a woman was considered a curse back then and being a Samaritan woman was a double curse. My heart breaks for her. She made such a mess of her life. I relate to her. I’ve made many of those same choices she did. Living with a man whom she wasn’t married to, I've done that. Married more than once. I've done that. I’m every bit as bad as this Samaritan woman. I just happen to live in a different time period where it’s not as socially unacceptable. But it’s still unacceptable to God.

So, back to our woman at the well, Jews avoided Samaritans and treated them as half breeds, unclean, to be avoided at all costs, yet Jesus went out of His way to meet her at the place of her need. He knew she would be there at the hottest time of the day to avoid the condemnation of the other women in her community who drew water in the cool of the morning. He engaged her in conversation which was unheard of! A Jewish man speaking to a Samaritan woman shows that this Jewish man was more than just a Jewish man; He is the Christ revealing Himself to the lowest of society. What compassion He has. What love He felt toward this woman who was doing her best to mask her shame. Jesus had a conversation with this woman that was amazing. He asked her for a drink of water and then proceeded to give her a lesson on Living Water. Then He asked her about her husband, she answered she had no husband, He answered that she had answered well because she had not one but five husbands and the one she was with was not her even her husband. This brings me to an important point. In those days a man could divorce a woman for any reason he desired (burned the rice to birthed the wrong sex child) and she had no recourse, no resources, and no way to support herself. This could explain why she had so many men. Could it have not been her choice? Does this shine a new light on her? My point is this, she lived a very hard life whether it was by her own choices or the choices of others and how amazing it was that this God Man Jesus didn’t just come to the Jews, He came to her. He understood. He took the time to sit and talk to her when others avoided her and not only that, He offered her Living Water, eternal water. He handpicked this woman out of all the women to have this conversation with and I thank Him to this day for it!

Then Jesus taught her about worshiping in spirit and truth through the power of God’s Spirit. I’m not certain but I don’t think He had even shared that lesson with the disciples at that point. She told Jesus that one day the Messiah would come and tell them all thing and Jesus revealed to her, “I who speak to you am He.” WOW! I imagine she must have been blown away! But then the disciples came back and I imagine although no one said anything about Jesus talking to this Samaritan woman that they didn’t make her feel very welcome (they were Jews after all and in their defense they weren’t God in the flesh).

At this point she left her water pot and RAN in the midday heat back to the city to tell the men she had seen the Messiah! That’s right, the men. Because I imagine the women wouldn’t have listened to her even then. (Any woman who lived a life like hers was not only scorned but seen as a threat.) But the men, well, they knew all about her and when she came running into the town yelling, “I just met a man who told me EVERYTHING I ever did!”,  it probably got their attention since it likely included things they’d done as well.

The conversation recorded with the woman at the well was a long conversation, and not only was it long, it changed the course of history. The woman at the well was the first woman evangelist! She was commissioned by Jesus Christ Himself. In John 4:34-38 Jesus told the disciples that His food is to do the will of His Father who sent Him and of the fields being white for harvest. Many Samaritans believed because of the woman’s testimony. She took them to Jesus and they compelled Him to stay and many more believed because of Jesus’ own word. He is the Christ, the Savior of the world!

So, really, isn’t the story of the Woman at the Well really the expression of evangelism as it should be. The seed sower, Jesus, didn’t care about the social status of the soil He sowed the seed in, He looked upon the heart. He looked for the need, He came for the sinner, praise God because that’s ME! He commands us to sow seeds as well. We are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, regardless of their situation.  We are to ALL be evangelists! Every single one of us who knows Jesus Christ should be an evangelist regardless of whether we are Jew or Gentile, Man or Woman. We should sow the seed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ into every heart whether the person has influence and can tithe or is homeless and will need to be supported.

The Samaritan Woman said it all with her sense of urgency when she RAN in the midday heat to tell those who had rejected and scorned her that the Messiah had come! Let’s reach as many people as we can! Let’s stop splitting hairs about preferences and details. Who can and can’t go and tell, who is and who isn’t “worthy” to spread the good news. Truth is, none of us are worthy. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed, to demonstrate at the present time His righteousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.” Romans 3:23-26 NKJV

The Samaritan Woman was one of the very first that Jesus revealed Himself  to as Messiah beyond the Jewish people and she represents the very heart of ministry. Run to the hurting, tell them about Jesus, bring them to Him and let Him bind their wounds.

An Excellent Woman Part II

Yesterday I lamented over why I feel so inadequate when I compare myself to the Proverbs 31 woman. Well, I didn’t exactly lament, I more or less griped. But honestly, I still feel inadequate when compared to her. So that makes me wonder, I know that God created me fearfully and wonderfully. Psalm 139:14, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” And yesterday I saw in II Corinthians 10:12, “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” So comparing ourselves to others isn’t wise.

Have I’ve been taught wrong all these years? Perhaps the Proverbs 31 woman isn’t the standard to live up to. She definitely was a virtuous woman, the Bible says so and the Bible is never wrong. We as people can misinterpret it and therein lays the issue. So let’s see why was she virtuous? Was it because of being the wife of a well-known husband? That leaves me out, he’s a great man but unless you live in our county you probably don’t know him. Was it because she was affluent? Count me out there! How about because she ran a home business and made sure she and her family were in the latest fashions? With so many losing their jobs, homes and barely scraping by I don’t think this was what made her virtuous either. How about being a good neighbor, wife and mother?

Was it the things she DID that made her virtuous? You could DO all these things and still not have virtue. And this brings me to the other virtuous woman in the Bible. She was the ONLY other woman in the whole Bible who was named as a virtuous woman. Can you guess who she was?

“And now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that thou requirest: for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman.” Ruth 3:11

What a contrast between Mrs. 31 and Ruth….

Rich ~ Poor
Important Position ~ No Position
Business woman ~ Farm laborer
Expensive clothes ~ Poor clothes
Children ~ No children
Well-known husband ~ No husband
Buys a field ~ Works in a field

Achievements and position in life a virtuous woman do not make…The contrast above makes that clear, so why did the Word of God list them as virtuous? What did they have in common?

~Both feared the Lord.
~Both were in subjection to the authorities in their lives.
~Both lived their lives for others.
~Both were self-sacrificing.
~Both had the law of kindness in their tongues.

The deciding factor for whether or not you’re a virtuous woman isn’t what you do or how much of it you do; it’s the heart behind those things. Ms. P31 didn’t dress her family nicely so others would notice how well she did and be envious, she didn’t keep her house clean so others would admire her and she wasn’t a virtuous woman because she was on the Praise and Worship team or sang in the choir. She loved the Lord and she had this as her motivation for all she did. She was a virtuous woman because she was fulfilling the plan God had for HER life. (So please forgive me for saying you made me feel inadequate yesterday)

It isn’t what we do or who others think we are that make us virtuous, it is having a fear and love for the Lord and living for Him, as a result we live a life of obedience. A woman who works in the 3yo classroom who receives little to no recognition just may be more virtuous than the woman who sings the solo’s in choir and has people clambering for her attention after service. It’s not what you do; it’s the heart you do it with. Whether His plan for your life is being a woman who owns a business and is famous or being the mommy to a special child who will always need assistance, as long as we try to be obedient to all He calls us to do we will be virtuous in His eyes.

When I see that God put 2 amazing examples of virtuous women in the Bible I see how me feeling like such a failure was because I was focused on the wrong thing, I was focused on her achievements, not on the woman who feared the Lord. Any woman can be a virtuous woman; any girl can be a virtuous girl; it’s just a matter of fearing God, loving Him with all your heart and being obedient to Him.

It’s a lie from Satan that there is such a thing as a Perfect Proverb 31 Woman. It’s a lie she was put there to be our standard and we should try to achieve her accomplishments, those were hers to accomplish. Not ours. It’s a lie meant to bind us up in legalism and tie us in knots because we can never achieve all God called her to do. God called HER to do that, NOT us!  It’s meant to make us feel like I did yesterday, like giving up, like I would never measure up.

Let’s stop this lie that is spreading throughout the Bride of Christ that we should be Super Woman and be set free to love the Lord, sit at His feet and learn to love and fear Him, to obey Him and to teach others the same. All one has to do to be a virtuous woman is to obey God. Everything else follows.

A Woman of Excellence

When we live busy lives there is so much pressure to live up to what we believe God wants for us. I’ve come to think that perhaps the pressure isn’t even so much what we think God wants for us but what others think of us. I know that when I first became a follower of Jesus there were classes offered all the time about the Proverbs 31 woman and how she was to be our “standard”. I think I nearly killed myself trying to do the things she did so I would be a “virtuous woman”. I mean seriously, she is held up as the standard of what all women should aspire to but have you really read Proverbs 31?

Here is a list of her accomplishments, read them and you tell me, do you measure up? I know I don’t!

1.      She had a wonderful marriage because she was an excellent wife and her husband was a wealthy man (has not need of spoil) because he could trust her to be thrifty. She has done her husband good all the days of her life. (I’ve known many women who are godly women and they live in a marriage that isn’t wonderful and it isn’t because they didn’t try! And what about those who don’t marry or are widowed?)

2.      She worked with her hands and created beautiful clothing for herself and family. She was a superior cook and not only fed her family but her maids as well. (HELLO!!! Do you have a maid? I don’t have a maid! But I guess this would be easier if I did have a maid. LOL! My point is this, I can’t sew, I am not a superior cook, but my family is dressed in clothes that fit and they don’t go hungry, my home is lived in. I never had anyone really teach me to clean until I was a grown woman so that is a struggle of mine, does this make me less virtuous?)

3.      She expanded her family’s property holdings and planted additional gardens. She was up before dawn and burned the candle long after dark. (Hmmm? I am up before dawn but it’s caring for a child with needs that most children do not have. I’m up frequently late at night taking care of Monkey as well. Now I’m losing my job I don’t expand our income either; does this make me a failure?)

4.      She cared for the poor and needy in her neighborhood. She had a thriving home business and made fine linen and sold it. (Some days it’s all I can do to make it from getting up to going to bed.  I help when I can but should I feel guilty about not doing more?)

5.      She was a wise woman and the law of kindness was in her mouth. Unkind words never spilled out toward her children or her husband. She must have possessed a great deal of patience. (I’ve been known to raise my voice to get Monkey’s attention, I am certainly lacking here. And the law of kindness, well, I went and listened to Beth Moore speak on this and I do strive for it but I fail so often I sometimes wonder why try.)

6.      She did not eat the bread of idleness. She was busy all the time and never took time for herself. Yet, she was serene and blessed of her children, and received her husband’s praises. (I don’t know about you but sometimes it seems no matter what I do it’s not enough…is it just me? And I know that sometimes if I can get out for a pedicure alone and have some grown up time I’m a much better mommy, does this make me selfish?)

She has been described as a woman of excellence, the one woman we should try and emulate, yet when I read her list of accomplishments and how revered she was by her children and husband I feel like a total failure! I am nowhere near the Proverbs 31 woman. I am about as far away from her as the east is from the west. I may as well throw in the towel now because I’m so far behind I won’t even reach the starting gate before the race is over.

Ever feel that way? I am being completely honest here, I feel like I have no worth when I compare myself to the woman of excellence. Ms. Proverbs 31, you make me feel like a failure.

Then my Father in Heaven reminds me not to compare myself to anyone else. It says so in II Corinthians 10:12, “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” God will measure me. He will grow me at the rate he desires for me to grow. He will measure me by His perfect standard; after all, He knows my heart. He made me unique. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  

Thank You Father for loving me so much You sent Your Son to die for me so I could be called Your daughter. I love you…

Vampires, Werewolves and Ghosts?

Not hardly! There is quite an obsession these days in the media, books and movies though. Apparently howling at the moon is of great interest to the general public, it’s of interest to me as well, but for a much different reason. While I believe in the Supernatural, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 NLT. See? The Bible is clear there is a realm we don’t see but there is plenty to concern me here in the Natural that I can see.

I know a lot of people who say that there is no credence to the idea that the full moon affects people’s behavior, moods, or actions. Having worked in a psychiatric facility for 17 years and I could tell you stories not just of wild behavior by the residents but the staff as well!

I’ve been keeping a log of behavior trying to find any pattern or trigger for Monkey’s “bad days”. This brings us to last night, a good night, a couple of behavior issues but NOTHING like what we used to deal with, easily redirected and all in all, a good night. My dear husband wasn’t feeling well so he stayed home from Church and was watching How It’s Made. Of course, they’re making donuts! So Monkey began to ask for donuts and I said something like maybe (MAYBE) tomorrow. Apparently maybe isn’t in her vocabulary. She went to bed and I went to the grocery store and got some donuts along with some other necessities.

Fast forward to the wee hours of the morning when my sweetie says, “Monkey is jumping on the bed.” For some reason these up all nighters tend to come on the nights I stayed up late and have a hugely busy day the next day. I went upstairs and she was waiting by the door saying, “Dunkin Donuts?” Are you kidding me? I tried to get her to sleep but there was no sleep to be had! And so although she didn’t howl at the moon she did jump on her bed. When I stumbled downstairs at 5:45am to scribble on the calendar it was a bad night, I noticed that it was the night before the full moon. Ahhh, it makes sense as I flip back through the past several months this morning now my eyes are open.

From now on I believe I will be napping the night before the full moon! And while I’m at it I think I’ll grab a quick nap now before I have to take the dog to the vet.

Did I ever tell you about the time I picked up a prostitute?

It was a rainy day, the kind of rainy day where it’s coming down in buckets and no one should be outside walking on the side of the road.  So I’m driving on Route 40 in Aberdeen MD in the early 90’s with my son in the back seat of my station wagon when I see her, she is walking on the side of the road near a motel (I totally missed this fact in my concern for her safety) and she looked to be about my age, 20’s. I stopped the car and leaned over, opened the door and hollered, “Get in!” She did.

She seemed very confused to be in my little station wagon; she was stick thin and soaked to the skin. She was beautiful but looked hopeless.  I felt such compassion for her. I thought she was walking to work. She mentioned she wasn’t usually into women but whatever and then my wonderful little boy in the back seat said, “Hi. Why ya walking in the rain?” She hadn’t noticed him until then. I asked where she was headed and then she told me she was a working girl. I being naïve told her I was too, I worked at the VA.  She said, “No, I mean a (speaking slowly) w-o-r-k-i-n-g girl. But thank you for not just assuming that.”

That day I took a young girl, someone’s daughter and perhaps a sister, to a nearby diner to have a warm bite to eat and hopefully she felt stronger afterward. What I wanted to do was offer her hope but I didn’t know Jesus then. All I could do was offer her a warm meal and a dry ride back to her hopelessness. I think back on that day and the only regret I have about picking up a prostitute was that I didn’t know Jesus to share true HOPE with her. I pray for that girl, no longer a girl but a woman, and I pray that someone else came along who was interested in the beauty in her heart and not just her face and body, someone who shared the Good News with her.

So I challenge you to remember exactly why Jesus came. He came to offer hope to the hopeless, to heal the sick, to forgive the unforgiveable, to offer Living Water! Here’s the challenge, with Valentine’s Day we often think of those we love but what about those who have no one who love them. The hurting, the broken, those in need of the Good News? Share the only Love that is lasting today! For Valentine’s Day this year introduce someone to the Man who will love them unconditionally and forgive their sins. The Man Jesus who was born of a virgin, lived a sinless, perfect life, died for our sins and on the 3^rd day rose from the grave! He conquered sin and Hell so we could come to be with Him.

No one is too far gone, there is no sin too evil, no secret too dark, nothing that Jesus cannot shine His Light on and offer forgiveness and a new life. I’m living proof. He did this for me.

If you don’t know Jesus as your personal Savior all you have to do is repent from your sins, believe in Him and accept the gift of salvation. Wearing nice clothes won’t save you, neither will driving a nice car or living in the better section of town, going to church won’t save you either, only accepting Jesus Christ can save us. Surrender to Him today.

“Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

“Father, I know that I have broken Your laws and my sins have separated me from You. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward You. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that Your Son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. Jesus, please come into my heart and forgive my sins, cover me with Your blood and wash me clean,  become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”

Valentine’s Day

Oh to be in school and the recipient of Valentine’s Cards again. For me it’s a bittersweet memory, children can be cruel and I was not one of the “in group” so my cards were pretty generic and there were none declaring me one’s BFF, as if they had that term back then lol! But there were a few times that someone did something special for me, I still cherish those memories and the way they made me feel. Special, cared for, accepted, loved…

Anyway, I survived and grew up and have children of my own now. My eldest child just turned 21 so I don’t worry about his Valentine’s Day other than pray please God let him be safe and smart! My youngest, Monkey, is very happy to go to school where everyone loves her and she loves everyone. This thrills me! One of the perks of having a child with special needs like Monkey is that she doesn’t realize she is viewed by some as different and that there are children who make fun of her behind her back. That is something I deal with but I’m a grown up, I can do that. I thank God every day that she is blissfully unaware.

Because she goes to a school that specializes with children who are medically fragile most are either on special diets or unable to eat by mouth so Valentine’s Day presents a challenge. But we have come up with a wonderful solution to that dilemma, multi-colored heart shaped crayons we will make this weekend! Fun for us, fun for them! And isn’t that what Valentine’s Day all about? Making memories that make others feel special?

Is there someone in your life who seems a little like the girl who I was growing up? The outcast who feels different and uncomfortable with herself. Take this opportunity to make their day bright and share God’s love with them. Share your Valentine’s Day with someone who will likely be overlooked.

^"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

John 13:34-35

What To Do When The Test Isn't For You?

How do you handle it when the person you love is going through a time of growth and testing that affects everyone around them? Due to the situation of no daycare for Monkey, her seizures returning and me being unable to work things are stressful right now. I have gone through the testing of my faith with this (I know it’s an ongoing process), there is peace in my heart that regardless of circumstances we will have all our needs met and God will bring us through it. I thought for some strange reason that my dear husband was in the same place I was spiritually. Apparently I was mistaken.

So now we are in a place where all I can do is be supportive and pray which in and of itself is another test. How do you help someone else grow their faith?  How do you pass on to another what you have? Is there any other option to help them “get it” or do I just watch and pray? These are not rhetorical questions. These are real questions that I’m looking for answers for; this is the place I’m living right now.

On the one hand, I feel almost guilty that I’ve got peace and he doesn’t; on the other hand I want to shake him until he understands that God will never take us anywhere that He hasn’t perfectly planned and prepared already, even if it’s a scary place. We just have to TRUST JESUS!!!

I ask for prayers from you. Please pray my wonderful sweetheart gets a real up close view of just how BIG our God is and how He is capable of bringing us through this. Please pray that I am a good and loving wife to him so that he will see Jesus in me and that Monkey will not be affected by this time of testing. Up until now she is doing well. I know that stress and Monkey are not a good mix especially since her seizures have returned and up until now she has had a LOT of change, and there is more on the horizon.

To recap Monkey’s changes November 2010 we lost Cinny, our beloved daycare provider, Mommy is now home with her, her seizures have returned, and beginning Monday we will start with a new 1-1 riding to and from school and a new paraprofessional at school. WOW! Change…here we come! Maybe God is helping Monkey to become used to change so she will be able to handle it smoothly for whatever He has planned for us. I am trying to look at this positively. J

Tooth Fairy

Last night Monkey came into the living room and pointed to her jaw and asked for a band aid. I asked to look in her mouth and wiggled the molar on the bottom left side of her mouth. Wasn’t too wiggly so I told her it looked like she had a loose tooth and it wasn’t anything to worry about, that eventually it will fall out and she’ll get a brand new tooth that will grow up in its place. In the meantime she should try to chew on the other side if it bothered her. Okay, problem solved, “I go play nice in kitchen?” Absolutely! And off she went to play nice in the kitchen.

About 10 minutes later she came up to me smiling a bloody smile from ear to ear! I was presented a beautiful white molar on a bloody palm! Apparently she misunderstood “eventually” and thought I meant go pull it out! Talk about obedience! I was impressed! She was so proud of herself! I’m very thankful I didn’t say that eventually they’ll ALL fall out LOL!

This reminded me of the story I have heard since childhood from my mother. She had a loose front tooth and complained to her father. My papa, who was a bear of a man, said I’ll take care of that and pulled it for her. Unfortunately, he grabbed the wrong tooth and he pulled her permanent one that was next to it. I still giggle when I hear about that. Why didn’t you say anything, Mom? Because he had his hand in my mouth and I couldn’t talk! Ahhh, childhood. It’s a miracle we survive.

I’m saving this tooth because it is so perfect and will always remind me of the night she obeyed me even though it hurt. That and I only have one other of her baby teeth because she usually swallows them J. This makes it difficult for me to save the teeth not to mention the Tooth Fairy…<3

Plans

You don’t have to knock me in the head with a brick, or maybe you do. At times I think I have a pretty good handle on my situation and other times I’m at a complete loss. I need to remember that it’s not my plans that matter, it’s the plans God holds for me.

Here is my brick upside the head day. Yesterday I was hoping to be at the end of a 3 day migraine. I had a very busy day planned and was so pleased that the pain was down to a low roar. Here was my agenda.

1.      Get Monkey up and ready for school.

2.      Get Red Bull (our French Mastiff) to the Vet’s for surgery.

3.      Return home with Bull and go straight to the orthopedic surgeon for follow-up.

4.      Grocery store for dinner ingredients.

5.      Get Monkey off limousine. (I know…she rides in a limo!)

6.      Cook dinner.

7.      Praise and Worship practice.

8.      Home, shower, bed.

But here is how it actually went down.

1.      Got Monkey ready for school.

2.      Limo arrived and her 1-1 for both the limo ride and school informed me of her 2 week notice.

3.      Went in the house and cried.

4.      Got Bull ready for the ride.

5.      Did an 180˚ on black ice and crashed into an embankment.

6.      Called AAA and discovered my membership expired 2 days prior.

7.      Was told they couldn’t send a tow unless I paid the renewal right then even though I could not get out of my car and my purse was in the trunk.

8.      Prayed.

9.      Cried

10.   Rejoiced at the Good Samaritan God sent to pour saltwater on my tires to get me out.

11.   Prayed for more help cause Good Samaritan #1 was unable to get me out of the mud.

12.   Rejoiced God send Good Samaritan #2 and #3!

13.   Rejoiced car was still drivable and no one was injured.

14.   Took Bull for surgery.

15.   Cost $100.00 more than expected.

16.   Anesthesia gas leaked in OR suite and I got my migraine back.

17.   Took Bull home.

18.   Canceled and rescheduled orthopedic appt.

19.   Tried to get pain meds into an uncooperative dog.

20.   Cried.

21.   Prayed

22.   Called Dear Hubby to come help.

23.   Took Excedrin.

24.   Lay down.

25.   Got up due to dog barking.

26.   Called school and spoke with principal to make a game plan.

27.   Discovered Monkey will likely miss 2-4 weeks of school until they find a replacement.

28.   Discovered they really want me to find a replacement (I did last time we lost one).

29.   Monkey came home.

30.   Cooked dinner.

31.   Went to P&W practice.

32.   Experienced the peace that only God can give.

It may seem like I’m complaining. I’m not. I am just demonstrating how different my day turned out from what I was expecting. The thought that perhaps God was putting me on a path for homeschooling Monkey wasn’t nearly as frightening as it was when He put me on the path to staying home. I’m not sure exactly what He has planned for us but I’m 100% certain that it is for our good and even though it’s not what I would have chosen it is what I want because God knows best. I believe He’s breaking me in slowly for the plan He has so I’m not terrified and have a heart attack! Regardless of how my day went, I know for certain that Jesus was right there with me the whole time. And He showed up in a big way last night to calm my frayed nerves and give the peace I needed desperately. God is good, even when the circumstances seem overwhelming because He is never caught off guard like I am.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Dear Lord,
 Thank you for the plan that you have for each of us.  Thank you for your Word that holds such peace and strength and promise.  I claim this for myself and for those who are sharing this scripture on this blog.  Let them, even now; be filled with peace and assurance. When all is in turmoil, and we cannot see our way to the end of the day, I thank you that you have a plan.  Help us to be open and receptive to what your desires are for our lives.
    In Jesus' name I pray,
    Amen