No More Monkey Jumping on the Bed

After having my Monkey jumping on the bed, bouncing off the walls, and crawling all over me for almost two weeks she is heading back to school. For those who don’t know about our school situation I’ll just briefly say that it’s been difficult and when we heard that she would be returning we ALL rejoiced! Monkey included. So you can imagine the disappointment that we all have been experiencing as the day of return nears and she looks increasingly unwell.

Wednesday evening I went to Church and left Monkey in the very capable hands of my husband who watched her as she slept, yes, she went to bed at 5:30pm before I left! When I returned I went up to check on her and discovered she was not miraculously well; she was actually running an extremely high temperature. This was new. Having gone to bed at 5:30pm she was also ready to get out of bed at 10pm and watch a little bit of television. I really need to invest in a chair and a half! Having a child who is almost as big as me trying to snuggle up in my lap is a little difficult but can be done J

I sit and rock her as she snuggles in watching her favorite; “Tartoon Birds” for those of you who don’t know it these are the Penguins of Madagascar. She wants the volume down low and for me to sing to her. “Sing Mommy, please.” Who could say no to that?

And it reminds me of one of my favorite verses…

“The LORD your God in your midst,
      The Mighty One, will save;
      He will rejoice over you with gladness,
      He will quiet you with His love,
      He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

I can close my eyes as I rock Monkey and imagine my Heavenly Father rocking me in His loving arms, quietly singing over me just as I quietly sing over her and I am comforted knowing all is well in His very strong Hands……

Dress Rehearsal

This year, as most years, our Church is having an Easter Drama/Musical and it requires a lot of time. I accepted Jesus as my Savior on January 1, 1998 and the very first thing I ever participated in was an Easter Program. I was captivated! I loved working on the backgrounds with Mr. Rex, our Director’s father, I loved the music, and I loved the time spent with other Christians but most of all I loved pouring myself into something that would glorify Jesus and bring His time on this earth to life before people today and hopefully draw them into a relationship with Him. My first year Mr. Rex told me that there would be a lot of time spent in rehearsal. I had no idea the amount of time we would spend in rehearsal! The week before the performance we were there every night until 11 or 12 but then came the performances. They made it all worthwhile! Lives were changed, people were saved, Jesus was lifted up and His Word was brought to life before my eyes! “And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all unto me.” John 12:32

As we have been rehearsing for our program this year, music since January and drama for a few weeks, I was thinking about how much it can take out of a person if they don’t have a passion for it. The motivation behind the rehearsal, if it is to glorify ourselves we will weaken quickly. This is much like life. We are so easily worn down when we do things in our own strength but when we wait on the Lord we will rise up on wings like eagles!

The Dictionary defines Rehearsal as:

1.      To practice something before performing such as a play, speech or piece of music before performing it for the public.

2.      To train somebody for performance someone who is practicing before doing something especially before giving a public performance.

3.      To go over a list of items often reasons, complaints or troubles.

4.      To say something or repeat something such as a story.

Have you ever thought that perhaps we are rehearsing every day, not for a play that runs three days and then is over until next year; but for eternity? What we do here matters! When we rehearse love, peace, kindness and forgiveness then we are rehearsing something that is worthy of a public performance. Conversely we can rehearse hate, prejudice, pride and lies, these things belong on another stage altogether.

Let’s be very careful that we aren’t rehearsing definition number three (making excuses or giving reasons why we can’t do something). Monkey used to be my excuse for not doing things, “Oh, I can’t go there, I have Monkey today, I can’t do that because I have Monkey” but God has brought me to the place that I comprehended if I make excuses I will never do anything. I am fully aware that I have used her as an excuse in the past but no more! The time is coming quickly for the performance; each of us will appear on the stage soon! Considering the magnitude of the actual occasion we are preparing for, eternity, I know that I’ll be more attentive to what I’m allowing myself to imagine and perform in my life. After all, when we imagine our futures according to God’s possibilities and not our human limitations there is nothing that God is unable to do! "But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26 KJV

The Bible tells us to guard our minds and to be careful what we think about, as a matter of fact there is a passage in Philippians that gives us the perfect thing to “rehearse”. If it doesn’t meet these criteria, it shouldn’t be in our dress rehearsal.  “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9

“Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life.” Proverbs 4:23 CEV

Now let’s get out there and break a leg!

I'm Bilingual; Are You?

I’ve been counting my blessings lately and my husband is one of my biggest blessings that God has given me. I want our relationship to be the very best it can be especially during this time of trial we’ve been facing, it needs to be strong so we can face the uncertain future together and know that we still mean what we vowed to each other over 8 years ago on our wedding day. I know what I have with this being a second marriage for us both, how blessed we are to have been given a second chance, so we are serious about making it work, not just because we don’t want to be failures but for Christ’s Name sake. So that is where my mind has been today, can you tell? J

Do you know your love language? I have a book by Gary Chapman called The 5 Love Languages and it is a wonderful book about the different ways we give and receive love. There are, you guessed it, five languages! Here they are…

1.      Words of Affirmation

2.      Quality Time

3.      Receiving Gifts

4.      Acts of Service

5.      Physical Touch

When it comes to these languages we can be bilingual. I am! Here’s the catch, unless you know your child or spouse’s love language you will give love in your own language. If their language is different then they won’t receive it, how sad to try as hard as you can to show your love and have it go unaccepted. This can cause a lot of friction in a relationship when both people are genuinely trying to express their love but feel the other isn’t trying.

I love words of affirmation but my husband isn’t particularly demonstrative verbally when it comes to love but he shows it in his actions. He makes sure I know I’m loved in his love language, acts of service. I know this is his language so I accept it as his love for me. I know I’m loved even though at times I yearn to hear him tell me in flowery words how much I mean to him or better yet write me a love letter. Still, I know I am a woman who is most blessed to have a man who loves her with all his heart and would do anything for her.  

When it comes to knowing the deepest longings of our hearts we have One love who will meet us where we are and satisfy every longing of our heart. Jesus Christ. He speaks each of our languages fluently and He knows exactly what our love languages are, He fulfill every need we have and we never have to wonder  where we stand with Him. He is aware of what we require even when we don’t recognize that we have a need; that is an amazing love!

1.      Words of Affirmation ~ The Bible is the greatest love letter ever!

2.      Quality Time ~ He will never leave us or forsake us! Hebrews 13:5

3.      Receiving Gifts ~ He came as a gift wrapped in swaddling clothes in a manger. Luke 2:12

4.      Acts of Service ~ Died for our sins, was resurrected, ascended to Heaven and will come again for us! I Corinthians 15:1-4; Acts 1:9-11; Matthew 24:27-31

5.      Physical Touch ~ Jesus gave us His Holy Spirit who lives within every believer! I John 2:26-27

I want you to read the following and then close your eyes and imagine it…

“The twenty-four elders and the four living creatures fell down and worshiped God, who was seated on the throne. And they cried:

   “Amen, Hallelujah!”  Then a voice came from the throne, saying:

   “Praise our God,
   all you his servants,
you who fear him,
   both small and great!”

Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:

   “Hallelujah!
   For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
 Let us rejoice and be glad
   and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
   and his bride has made herself ready.
 Fine linen, bright and clean,
   was given her to wear.”

   (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.)

 Then the angel said to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!’” And he added, “These are the true words of God.”  Revelation 19:4-9 NIV

 We will celebrate the wedding feast of the Lamb when we will marry the ultimate LOVER, WARRIOR, and KING! Whether we are men or women let us never forget we are His Bride……

Hallelujah Anyway!

I’m learning some valuable lessons in my life right now. As I face challenges with each new day I also am faced with a choice. I can choose to look at the challenge in the worst light possible, negatively and complain about how it inconveniences me (and oh to my embarrassment, I still choose this at times) or I can choose to look for the blessing within the challenge (this is my goal).

In my pursuit of transparency I will confess my failures to you. When faced with the issues of Monkey staying home from school because the 1-1 was sick I felt inconvenienced. How terrible for me to view my blessing of a child as a hassle. I have truly repented of that and since I did an amazing thing has occurred, her 1-1 actually quit with no notice but now instead this being an inconvenience it is an opportunity. I have the opportunity to spend about a month solid with my Monkey and we will ask God to help us be creative in finding ways to spend our time wisely.

Last year when I hurt my knee I was not a happy camper about needing surgery the day before Thanksgiving but it put me at home when I lost my daycare and that was a blessing!

We are having an Easter Play at our Church this year and it is going to be amazing! It requires a lot of commitment but it means so much to me to be able to portray a piece of history from the life of Jesus’ life it is worth the sacrifice. For my Lord, no sacrifice is too great. One of my dear friend’s husbands has been watching the children while we practice and it has been such a blessing knowing Monkey is playing and cared for right around the corner by an adult I can trust. This past Saturday, however, he had to work overtime. It is only three weeks till we perform so practice was not 9-12 it was 9-2! Five hours! But I have to say, God blessed me in such an amazing way, not only did Monkey sit nicely in her pew and play with her toys while we practiced, she listened and obeyed me. The other choir members were so kind and understanding with her and interactive with her speaking to her and making her feel welcome (not that they don’t ordinarily but it just was a special day).  I left my house praying for her behavior and asking for the people to be compassionate, I even posted it as a prayer request on Facebook. God certainly answered! Thank You Jesus! I had a choice to make when I got the text that there would be not child care for Monkey, I chose wisely and God honored that.

Not every day is filled with her being obedient! But that is okay, she’s learning and so am I. I believe that as I’m learning patience with her I’m also learning to be obedient to my Heavenly Father because I see how frustrating it can be when I give a simple command only to have it ignored. I don’t want to do that to the One who loves me so…I know I fail more than I would like but I’m pressing toward the mark.

Within every challenge there is a blessing, we just have to look for it. We can find joy in any situation; our joy comes from being thankful and from holding onto Jesus Christ, not our circumstances. Imagine how tossed about we would be if our joy depended anything other than Jesus Christ? Our lives would be like roller coasters; happy one moment, despondent the next; how incredibly sad to live like that. Jesus offers us more; Jesus offers us a life of joy within the sorrow.

“For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:  I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13 NKJV

And so I say…Hallelujah Anyway!!!

Anniversaries

Today marks the 11 year anniversary of my father’s death. It’s been a very hard week in and of itself but knowing that the 25^th was looming at the end of the week made me edgy I suppose. He was only 59 and died of prostate cancer. They caught it early believe it or not, this horrible disease that is supposedly so treatable. Despite all efforts of the doctors my beloved daddy didn’t beat the odds. I still can’t understand why of all people he wouldn’t be spared. He was such a good man. He was remarkable in every way. I never met anyone who didn’t admire him. One day he told me on the that although the cancer was inconvenient (inconvenient! Can you believe that?) he knew that God had allowed it in his life so he could share the Gospel with those in the Cancer Center where he was being treated. I know now that is just part of the big picture. And yet as I sit here on this anniversary knowing my daddy is whole and pain free now in Heaven with Jesus I am still here on earth waiting to be reunited with him, wondering if he ever had the opportunity to have a glimpse from Heaven of his only granddaughter who was born only months after his death. I still grieve. Not a hopeless grief but it’s still a grief that visits me once a year for a brief time early in the morning while I ponder the things I cannot comprehend. But the Bible says…

“Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.”  Isaiah 40:28:31

And I am renewed with strength to go on, I am comforted knowing I don’t have to understand, God’s understanding is more than I will ever be able to fathom and He knows my heart, and I am thankful for a God who is that loving!

And the Bible says…

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

And I am comforted…

Have a blessed weekend~ann

Try a Little Kindness

I’m facing a situation in my life that has forced me to consider the difference between being kind and being nice. I don’t like being the “bad guy”. I don’t like having to do the things that are difficult but I can, I have and I will. I just don’t like to. Does this mean I’m unkind? No. I’m so thankful that God prepared me for this. I’ve fought for rights before, I fought for Monkey with medical treatments, insurance payments, all kinds of things, then came the education issues, I took on the school board and thank God for Him being on my side when we won alternate placement without an attorney! Unheard of in our county, at the time I felt like I was being the bad guy but now I see I was just being an advocate for the special child who God entrusted to me, the voice she doesn’t have. As I mentioned earlier, I’m facing a situation and it’s forcing me to be that advocate again. Here is what I’ve been meditating on. I am asking for you, my readers, to please pray for me to have the law of kindness on my tongue as I deal with the issue at hand.

Last year I went to a Beth Moore Simulcast and I have thinking about that this during my quiet time, what little time there isof it. Monkey has been home all week! Woo Hoo. Anyway, here is what I recall about what she spoke on, the law of kindness. I need desperately for the law of kindness to be on my tongue! I have been struggling with wanting to give someone “a piece of my mind”! I’m afraid if I do that I might have very little left for myself…J

So I am striving for kindness. Proverbs 31:26, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.”

1) Kindness is not a weakness. She talked about the difference between kindness and being nice, and went to the Latin definition of nice, which is “nescius” or ignorant. She made the point that being nice does just not really know where in kindness we are aware and chose to be kind. She pointed out that kindness is perfectly capable of speaking a hard word. (Those of you who know me know that I have no problem doing that but I try to make it last resort. You know, truth in love…)

2) Kindness is not an action. It is a disposition. “Kind” means that it is profitable; fit for any use, useful towards others, good-natured. You can fake being nice, but kindness you can’t fake. It is the grace which pervades the whole nature. (I really want to be fit for any use, don’t you?)

3) Kindness wears down when we do. She explained that one of the works of the spirit of the enemy is to wear us down. She said, “We all have someone we need to feel differently toward. When we are worn down, we need to be built up by the body of Christ.” (Could this be why Monkey has been home all week? Thank you my Sisters for building me up! I have been so worn down and your kind words have been exactly what I needed to build me up and strengthen me!)

4) Kindness looks pain in the face! She referenced Job 6:28 where Job says, “Be so kind as to look at me.” And she said not to have face blindness. Be willing to hear more than just “Fine” when you ask someone how they are doing. In the conference this broke me to pieces. I’ve had so many people look past my pain and accept the “I’m Fine”, how I’ve longed for kindness that looked my pain in the face. Finally, I’ve found it among my friends whom I’ve never met and a few who I have…

5) Kindness is a Savior. Kindness took on flesh and dwelled among us. Jesus not only saved me from the pits of hell, but also from MYSELF! From my own sin and bondages! What a revelation! That is awesome!

6) Kindness has a good memory. Psalm 106:7 says, “They didn’t remember Your many kindnesses and they rebelled.” Remember that God has been good to you! Remember the ways! When we’re busy being thankful we aren’t being rebellious!

7) Kindness craves an outlet. When we know God has been kind to us, we want to share it with someone else. For me this blog is an outlet for kindness, I have a desire to share what God has done for me and this is one outlet, I pray for more as Jabez prayed, oh Lord, enlarge my borders!

8.) Kindness leaves a legacy. In Acts 28:1-2, we read that the “islanders were showed unusual kindness.” In a study, Beth Moore recently found that on the island of Malta (the same one referenced here in Acts), still some 83% of people are involved in some charitable giving! Oh how I long to leave a legacy, I want to pass on to the next generation the love of Jesus Christ.

We all need to experience kindness. We all need to express kindness. When we’ve experienced the kindness of the Savior we must pass it on, we must seek a channel to pass the kindness on through. If you have experienced the kindness I speak of you understand exactly what I mean, you can never be content to sit in a pew and listen, and you must find someone outside those walls of the Church who God will use you to show His kindness through.

If you haven’t met Jesus Christ as your Savior but would like to know Him and experience His kindness I encourage you to pray this prayer and get involved with a local church that teaches from the Bible.

“Father, I know that I have broken Your laws and my sins have separated me from You. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward You. Please forgive me of my sins, and help me to avoid sinning again. I believe that Your Son, Jesus Christ came to Earth, was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. Jesus, please come into my heart and forgive my sins, cover me with Your blood and wash me clean,  become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”

Where were you on...

There are days in history that stand out in our minds and become part of who we are, we never forget where we were, who we were with, they become indelibly etched upon our memories. Some days we share with many, others are much more personal…

Where were you on January 28, 1986? Do you remember that day? I was riding on I-59 between Laurel and Hattiesburg MS in the middle of a pickup truck when the news came on the radio, Space Shuttle Challenger had exploded. I had gone from feeling like an independent rebel who was skipping school to wanting nothing more than to climb into my daddy’s lap and for everything to be the way it was the day before.

Where were you on September 11, 2001? I was at work with a man named Frank and to this day when I think back to the horror of the day it is intrinsically intertwined with him and the comfort I received from his hand on my shoulder as we watched in silent shock at the events of the day as they unfolded. That day I wanted nothing more than to go home and hold my children and make sure they were safe, I wanted to go back to the day before but nothing would ever be the same.

How about March 11, 2006. You probably have no idea where you were but I know exactly where I was. I was watching my daughter have a 10 hour status seizure that would change the very reality of the rest of my entire family’s life. As she fought for her life I had no idea our lives would never be the same. You can read more about it here http://msannloves.blogspot.com/2010/09/trusting-no-matter-what.html

We all have days in our lives that change everything. The day Challenger fell from the sky no one was prepared. No one dreamed it could happen. The day terrorists attacked us on our own soil we were so unprepared because we had failed to heed the warnings that had been issued. Who wants to believe that they are vulnerable to such an attack? I had failed to see the warning signs of partial complex seizures that had been building, even the doctors told me Monkey was fine when I took her for check-ups. I didn’t listen to that inner voice that told me something was wrong.

There is coming one more day that will affect every single person. The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ is coming back and He will come like a thief in the night. No man knows the time or day but we do know that He will come so we should be prepared! But how do we prepare for something if we have no idea when it will happen?

1.      Make sure we are followers of Jesus Christ. If you haven’t given your life to Him make sure that you have given your life to Him and confessed and repented of your sins, asked Him to be your Savior and Master of your life and He will send His Holy Spirit to fill you and help you to live for Him.

2.      Live your life like He was coming tonight, because regardless of when He returns we have no guarantee of the next breath. Each moment we have here is a gift. And when we finish here, we’re finished here.

Ask yourself these questions.

When Jesus comes back will He find me among those who call Him Master? Will He find me obeying His commands because I love Him? Will He find me looking up eagerly searching the skies waiting for Him? Will He find me excited to be with Him? What’s Your Answer?

“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” John 14:6 There is only one way to reach Heaven and that is through Jesus Christ.

“Measured against eternity, our time on earth is just a blink of an eye, but the consequences of it will last forever. The deeds of this life are the destiny of the next.” CS Lewis

Let’s make this day a day that stands the test of time and lasts into eternity.

U-Turns Allowed

There is a song I love to listen to by Rick Pino, it’s called The Narrow Road.

“Let me walk with You on the narrow road

I know it may get lonely, but I know Iʼm not alone

Iʼll seek You in the wilderness, I know thatʼs where You are

You whisper like the breeze, Youʼre speaking to my heart

The wide gate looks so beautiful but destruction is its end

Go against the stream, my friend, and stand where angels fear to tread

At Your feet I lay my crowns

With my tears I sow into those who will one day

Know the glory of the narrow road”

It’s difficult to be the one who swims against the stream, to feel like you’re the only one who is taking that narrow path Jesus has called us to. But we must remember that even though at times we feel alone we are never alone because Jesus has promised He will not leave us alone as if we were orphans. “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” John 14:18 NIV and Jesus never breaks His promises. As I wrote about yesterday, we can trust Him.

In the 3^rd line of the song he wrote “I’ll seek You in the wilderness, I know that’s where You are, You whisper like the breeze, You’re speaking to my heart.” I know that is usually where I find my closest times with Jesus, the times when everything else has been stripped away and I’ve been laid bare before Him. Recently I went through a time of trial that can only be described as fiery. It burned away everything I had ever put any confidence in. Health…gone. Daycare…gone. Career…gone. Future plans…gone. God allowed everything to be stripped away that I had put my dependence in to show me I was depending on the wrong things. I worked at the same job for 18 years and I had every confidence I would retire from there, now I know I am completely dependent upon God for…well, everything. I wouldn’t trade these trials He’s allowed in my life for anything because they’ve drawn me closer to Him and shown me what is of eternal value. People, not money or the things money can buy. People are the only thing we will take to Heaven with us.

Read the last 2 lines of this song, the lyrics say it all. “With tears we sow into those who will one day know the glory of the narrow road.” As we make the choice to deny ourselves, pick up our crosses and follow Jesus on the narrow road; we aren’t alone, and Jesus isn’t the only One with us. There are generations watching us. The world is watching us. As we choose to say no to the culture of the world and yes to a life that honors Jesus it may seem that no one will care if we watch a movie the Holy Spirit convicts us of, or if we join in the gossip that is going on at the office or even in the Church, or wear the clothes that draw people to our flesh, the skirt that is short or the blouse that with the plunging neckline but there are generations watching, within the Church and within the world and they will follow in our footsteps. The world wants to know what makes us different and the Church wants to see the same, do we really believe what we say. Where will our footsteps lead them? To a wide gate that leads to destruction or on a narrow road that few find. Let’s remember why we’re here, we’re voyagers in a distant land that is not our home trying to take as many people home with us. We can say what we say we believe all we want but our lifestyles speak volumes and if they don’t line up with our words then we are deceiving ourselves about which road we are traveling.

If as you read this you are finding yourself being swept with a crowd down a road that is wide but the Holy Spirit has pricked your heart about following Him down the Narrow Road remember that U-turns are allowed here! All you have to do is ask Him for directions, repent of your sins, pick up your cross and follow Him. It may seem overwhelming to be able to walk the Narrow Road, and on our own we are unable to do it; but with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives within each and every follower of Jesus Christ as we submit our will to Him then we will be able to walk the path He places before us.

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13

Up A Tree...

When I was a small child I loved to climb trees, I was wiry and quick, not to mention there weren’t many things I wouldn’t do on a dare. It was a windy day, the tree was tall and the dare had been issued. It was a dare of a double dog variety. I couldn’t possibly back down.

I was extremely young; I don’t recall much of my climb up except that when I had made it to the top I became paralyzed with fear and unable to come back down. This was a problem. Being such a small child who weighed maybe 25lbs I was able to climb up into the very tip top of that tree, up to the swaying limbs where a larger child couldn’t go much less a grown man.

I’m not certain how long I had waited up there before the fear that her little sister might have to live up the tree forced my sister to run in and get my mom who came out with a horrified look on her face. This was not good. She was hysterical and I caught words wafting up on the breeze like fire department and rescue equipment. I was in BIG TROUBLE with capital letters!

But perched high atop the tree I had a view others didn’t! I saw over the house that my Daddy’s pickup truck was coming up the road! Daddy would know what to do! He would save me! He pulled in the driveway, and rushed to where the small crowd that was gathering and I saw Momma pointing up the tree at me precariously blowing in the breeze atop the tree. He didn’t hesitate, in his police uniform he climbed up that tree as far as it would hold him but it wasn’t high enough. He still couldn’t reach me. I was completely deflated. But he looked up at me and said, “Do you trust me?” Of course I did! He was Daddy! Then he reached out his hand and said, “Step out into my hand and I’ll catch you, I promise.” And without a thought I let go and stepped out into thin air and my Daddy caught me and carried me down to safety. I still tear up thinking about it.

In this life trusting someone can be hard, but when they’ve never once broken a promise to you it is easy. When you know they have your best interest in mind always and they will never do you harm it makes trusting them a choice that is easier to make. That’s how it was with my Daddy, he had my best interest in mind and I trusted him. That’s how it is with my Heavenly Father, He has given me promises in the Bible that always true, He has given me His only Son to die for me, and although at times it seems like His way is harder than what I would want I know it is best for me so I trust Him. Otherwise I wind up stuck up a tree…

“For You are my hope, O Lord GOD; You are my trust from my youth.” Psalms 71:5

The Shadow of the Alamo

I grew up in the shadow of the Alamo. Born in San Antonio, TX, I never fully understood how that would impact the rest of my days. The Alamo, a home to missionaries and their converts for nearly 70 years, it ended with a huge battle where much blood was spilled.

It was in the shadow of the Alamo that I was first introduced to Jesus Christos, at the age of only 3 years old, on the wall of the Rodriguez dining room, hanging on a cross. Prior to that, I had never heard or seen anything remotely resembling what I beheld that day. I had been playing with the Rodriguez boys, the only kids in our neighborhood who were young enough to have a 3yo tag along. They were only 4 and 5. They didn’t mind the little white haired girl who asked questions and wanted to know why all the time. I didn’t mind playing with dirt, bugs or climbing trees. I could run fast and find good hiding places. These things mattered.

On the day we went in the dining room and I noticed the painting; we were there for a quick snack and then back to playing but I couldn’t take my eyes off of this man in the painting. There was something about Him that made me feel funny, and not ha ha funny either. For some reason, I knew deep down I wanted to be just like Him. I didn’t know who He was, I didn’t know why He was nailed up on that cross and I didn’t know much, but I did know this, He was up there for me, because He LOVED me. By the time we washed up and snacks were served I had devised a plan in my little 3yo brain. By my estimation and by the questions I’d asked in between bites it should be relatively simple to be just like this man who they told me was the Son of God; and to be not just like Him but to be with Him too. Understand though, Mrs. Rodriguez spoke English about as well as I spoke Spanish, so that may be where the lines got crossed.

And here is how it all went down, so to speak. I convinced David and Jose that if they would just nail me to the mesquite tree that surely that would be good enough. I could stand on a milk crate and after they nailed me they could kick the crate out from under me. Voila, as my momma always said, problem solved. They had some objections. You can imagine. But from a practical standpoint though, I really did have it all figured out. There were nails down the alley behind the bar on Hotwells Blvd we could go get (we weren’t supposed to go down the alley but I had convinced them and myself that God would understand because it was for Him, the nails were rusty but that was okay, I didn’t mind because I really wanted to meet Jesus Christos face to face) and my daddy had a hammer. After a few hours of convincing, I talked them into it, I can be persuasive I suppose.

If it hadn’t been for my sister I would probably have tetanus and nail scarred hands. She was a well known eavesdropper in our neighborhood and I’m thankful now for it! She went and told my mom who came running out of our house, apron flying, flour billowing off it, screaming something about me being the death of her and Catholics…I don’t know, I was preparing to meet Jesus Christos. Long story short…I was no longer allowed to play with the Rodriguez boys.

I don’t know if having my roots so deeply planted in the blood soaked soil so close to the Alamo actually influenced my passion for missions. Perhaps it did, but I do know that Jesus Christ made sure I was born in the shadow of the Alamo, that I would first see Him on the wall of a tiny house on Pyle Rd and that I would forever fall in love with Him because He loved me first.

As a 3yo child I didn't understand that Jesus Christ came to die on a cross so I wouldn't have to. I thought that to be with Him I had to physically die on a cross as well, but it's so much simpler than that. Confess my sins to Him, repent from my sins, ask forgiveness, accept Him as the Lord and Savior of my life and then pick up my cross and follow Him. I pray you'll make the same decision I did...

Mary Magdalene

I heard a sermon yesterday (a very good sermon by the way) that was entitled, Dead or Alive. It was an excellent sermon on apologetics and defending your faith, I know that, however, what I brought away from the sermon was something a bit different. The Pastor made a point that you know the Bible is true because when Jesus arose in all four Gospels the account of the resurrection tells that Jesus first appeared to a woman. He then went on to explain (no offense to the women) that a woman’s testimony in that day was completely worthless. So for all four authors’ of the Gospel’s to include this fact wouldn’t really be a desirable thing. It would have been far more believable if He’d chosen to appear to a man, then the testimony would have been more accepted.  Wow!

I sat there letting that soak in for a bit. Jesus chose who He would appear to, He knew in advance exactly not only that He would appear to a woman but which woman it would be. Mary Magdalene, the demoniac who had been set free by Jesus and she loved Him so much she left all behind and followed Him. She was a devoted disciple. Yes, she was a disciple. Jesus drove seven demons from her. The number of demons driven from her was important. Seven represents completeness, totality. She was in complete and total darkness and depravity. So she knew what darkness was. Plain and simple, she knew her state. Her self-perception was clear, she knew where she stood before God and she knew what the Son of God had done for her and she owed Him EVERYTHING!

We know she was a committed disciple. She left her home and devoted her whole life to Jesus and His ministry. Matthew 27:55-56 says, “And many women who followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering to Him, were there looking on from afar, among whom were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of Zebedee’s sons.” She left it all and supplied the needs of Jesus and His followers. Her gratitude prompted her to follow Jesus wherever He went, even to a garden tomb one morning to anoint the body of the one who had set her free.

She went and bought spices to anoint Jesus after the Sabbath ended and she arrived early the first morning after the Sabbath. I love John 20. The whole chapter and I hope you’ll check it out. When Mary is standing outside the tomb weeping and Jesus appears to her and asks, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She answers, “Because they have taken away my Lord…”  MY Lord. He was hers and she was His. Not in a sexual way but in a way that is so much deeper.  She was yielded to Jesus because she called Him Lord, He was her Master. She bowed down to His authority. And she got to be an eyewitness to the resurrection of the Risen Savior of the World, Jesus Christ! Imagine that! What an honor and a privilege.

And what about Jesus appearing to a woman? That shows the compassion and love of our Savior. A God who loves so completely that He is willing to send His only Son to die for murderers, liars, and thieves. ”But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

 A God who loves the unlovely and the outcast so much that He would die a horrific death for me, for you, is worthy of all we have to give. This God, this Jesus, I call Him Lord, I surrender all my will to Him and no matter what He asks of me I say yes because He set me free. Have you been set free or are you still in darkness. If you haven’t met the Man who Mary Magdalene met in the garden on the third morning but you’re ready to make Him your Lord here is a prayer you can pray…

“Father, I know that I have broken Your laws and my sins have separated me from You. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward You. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that Your Son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. Jesus, please come into my heart and forgive my sins, cover me with Your blood and wash me clean,  become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to fill me and help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”

What's Your Flavor?

I heard an interesting concept today that resonated in my heart.  I was talking to a woman who I have never met (imagine that) who I was ordering an item from and she said that each person is a “flavor” and flavors attract similar flavors. So when you come across a person who you have never met but feel you have known forever the explanation would be that you are the same flavor. She and I are the same flavor. Are you following me? Often times we feel left out of groups of friends because our flavors don’t mix well with theirs.

And so we have the cliques. The definition of a clique is a close group of friends or coworkers with similar interests and goals, whom outsiders regard as excluding them. I know personally how painful it is to be on the outside of those groups, that was mainly in my youth but as I have gained some wrinkles and hopefully some wisdom, I have also found how liberating it is to be on the outside as well. Being on the outside looking in I’m free to be the person who God has called me to be. My flavor is a bit spicy, after all, I am from Texas! This helps me understand when the group gets tighter as I walk past, it’s not that they don’t like me, they just don’t appreciate my flavor.

I would like to encourage you all to look around you with this mindset, are you surrounded with people who are the same flavor or do you feel like you are the only flavor of your kind in your entire area?

If you are one of the fortunate ones who has many of the same flavors who you find fellowship with easily I would like to encourage you to remember that just because someone has a different flavor than you doesn’t mean it wouldn’t enhance your own, what might you be missing out on by not adding a little “spice” to your life?

And if you are a spicy girl like me I would like to encourage you to remember that you are not alone. You were not a mistake. God didn’t want the world to be an all vanilla world, He likes the spicy stuff! Pray for Him to lead you to someone whom you can fellowship with and He will, might not be in your area, but He didn’t make us to be alone. Also remember that the unusual spices are not frequently used, they are often placed on the back of the spice rack, take sage for example, but it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without it. Each one has a purpose. We all have a purpose.

There’s nothing wrong with being vanilla, but have you ever had Mexican Fried Ice Cream with cinnamon and pinch of cayenne pepper. I’m just saying, it’s vanilla but so much more!

Welcome to the Jungle

When you poke a wound, the wounded animal will eat you. Even if you’re poking it to discern the level of the pain to come up with a medical plan to heal the animal. Pain will always override and the animal will eat you, or at least wound you.

This is why Jesus tells us to forgive. He knew that while we were going around in His Name bringing the wounded to be healed and set free that sometimes they would turn on us. Not only that, Jesus knew that even after we were converted that there would be lingering sin in our lives that would be painful for us to live with and when confronted about it we would lash out at those who come to help us. Again, this is why forgiveness is so important. In the Gospels, Jesus taught extensively about forgiveness. He did this because He knew how key forgiveness is to living a life that is pleasing to God.

When you do something that offends someone, which reminds me about someone I need to ask forgiveness from, (did it, hope she forgives me…) as soon as you think of it. And when someone offends you then you have the choice to hold an offense against them or forgive them. Holding an offense does nothing to the person who you hold it against. It’s like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. But to forgive, it frees you from bitterness that would otherwise take root. I’ll tell you a little story.

When I was a little girl I had a man in my life who was older and he hurt me in ways that some older men hurt little girls. And he told me that it was my fault because after all, I let him do it so I must have liked it, and since I liked it that made me a bad girl. Since I was a bad girl he didn’t really want to tell my mom and dad but he would if I “made him”. You get the picture. He was a well loved member of our family who was trusted and I believed him when I was a little girl. But then I grew up and when I met Jesus Christ, He told me all about who I really am in Him, a princess, pure and whole, reserved for Him but there was a requirement from me. I had to forgive. Took me a while, but you know what? I would have never been able to write about this before I forgave him. There was too much pain. I couldn’t even speak of it without tears that flowed freely and anger that would burn in my chest. Now I feel badly for that man. He wasted his life, ruined God only knows how many children and unless he comes to know Jesus Christ he will burn in Hell. I pray he meets Jesus and finds forgiveness.  

Jesus knew that the only antidote to the pain that will eat us alive is forgiveness. That is the lesson I learned in the jungle of my childhood. I pray you never have to walk in the jungle I survived as a child, but if you find yourself in a jungle of your own remember this, forgiveness is the antidote to the pain.