Trusting, No Matter What…

I have a story to tell. It is a true story. It happened to my family and changed us forever. Here is a small part of that story…

On March 11th 2006, I put my Monkey upstairs for a nap. She had slept for about an hour when my sweet husband said I should go check on her. It wasn’t unusual for her to nap for 1 ½ to 2 hours but he said he had a bad feeling so I went up. I’ll never forget opening her door and seeing her lying with her feet tangled in the blanket on the bed, head on the floor in a pool of blood, she was gray. Who knows how long it had been going on, she was having a seizure. I called out for Tommy to dial 911; it took 45 minutes for them to get to our home. She was in what is called status epilepticus for 10 hours. She bit the tip of her tongue off and the sides were badly chewed. (To this day Monkey has what she calls a BobBob tongue ‘cause the tip is square.) When she finally woke up the following day she didn’t know who I was. She was unable to move her right arm or leg. She couldn’t speak. After the doctors had gotten her out of status during her weeklong stay in the hospital one of the MRI’s showed a mass in the left side of her brain. We received the worst news any parent could ever hear, cancer, inoperable and terminal. This didn’t sound right to me, didn’t sit well in my spirit. I couldn’t believe it; they had to be wrong…

During this time I begged the Lord to spare Monkey’s life. My husband was not a Christian so I felt very alone in my pleas to the Lord. He would sit with me as I prayed but would not join me. I felt led by the Lord to take her from that hospital, a world renowned children’s hospital, so we made an appointment with a neurologist at Kennedy Krieger Institute for a second opinion.

I took Monkey to our pastor and the elders and requested prayer. They anointed her with oil and prayed over her with the entire congregation. During the prayer I heard God speak into my spirit “I will heal her and I will be glorified.” I knew that God would heal my daughter, although at the time I had no idea the path we would walk or the way He would chose to heal her. He is sovereign! He is always good, even when we hurt and the path is filled with tears, Jesus is with us always…

The neurologist at Kennedy Krieger told me that the “cancer” the first hospital diagnosed was not cancer. It was a mass, which either caused the seizure or was the result of it. This was music to my ears! NOT CANCER! An answer I had asked for so we began trying to control the seizures with medication. She failed every drug they gave her. She would respond during a brief “honeymoon” period but it never lasted long. By August 2006 our neurologist referred us to Johns Hopkins Pediatric Epilepsy Center because she failed to respond to medication and the seizures increased in frequency and intensity. She was hospitalized in the PICU 4 times during this time when her rescue meds didn’t work either. I found myself turning to the God and His Word more than ever.

Now I remind you here…God TOLD me He would heal her! He spoke it and I’m as sure of that as I am that I live on planet earth. But sometimes our answers don’t come instantly. I believe we live in a “microwave society” where everything we want is expected when we want it…or else! When the answer doesn’t come quickly and the situation is dire what do you do? Have trust and faith. Lean on Jesus and the people He sends into your life to help you through. He sent us people during that time. People, who prayed for us, came to the hospital, drove us to appointments, fixed us meals, took care of our other children, helped us with medication and hospital bills, nurses who showed us extraordinary kindness, doctors who treated more than the condition…they treated the whole child, friends who sat in our living room and watched me fall to pieces because I felt utterly shattered by this monster of epilepsy that ravaged my Monkey. Weeping and experiencing pain over a situation doesn’t mean you don’t trust, it just means you’re human. I thank God everyday for His mercies which are new each morning, I thank Him for giving me that Word of assurance that He would heal her to hold on to, it was an anchor and without it I believe I might have drowned in my sorrow. He knew exactly what we needed to get through the situation but more than that He knew we needed the situation to grow my faith, to bring us to repentance, my husband to salvation and Monkey to wholeness.

This story is not an uncommon one. According to the Epilepsy Foundation 200,000 new cases of epilepsy are diagnosed each year.  This is a testimony. Not my testimony, not Monkey’s either; it is a testimony of the healing power and love of a Savior.

If you don’t know Jesus as your Savior, below is a prayer you can pray to receive Him as your Lord. If you pray this prayer please let me know, confess Jesus with your mouth and tell others what He did for you!

“Father, I know that I have broken Your laws and my sins have separated me from You. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward You. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that Your Son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. Jesus, please come into my heart and forgive my sins, cover me with Your blood and wash me clean,  become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”