A Woman of Excellence

When we live busy lives there is so much pressure to live up to what we believe God wants for us. I’ve come to think that perhaps the pressure isn’t even so much what we think God wants for us but what others think of us. I know that when I first became a follower of Jesus there were classes offered all the time about the Proverbs 31 woman and how she was to be our “standard”. I think I nearly killed myself trying to do the things she did so I would be a “virtuous woman”. I mean seriously, she is held up as the standard of what all women should aspire to but have you really read Proverbs 31?

Here is a list of her accomplishments, read them and you tell me, do you measure up? I know I don’t!

1.      She had a wonderful marriage because she was an excellent wife and her husband was a wealthy man (has not need of spoil) because he could trust her to be thrifty. She has done her husband good all the days of her life. (I’ve known many women who are godly women and they live in a marriage that isn’t wonderful and it isn’t because they didn’t try! And what about those who don’t marry or are widowed?)

2.      She worked with her hands and created beautiful clothing for herself and family. She was a superior cook and not only fed her family but her maids as well. (HELLO!!! Do you have a maid? I don’t have a maid! But I guess this would be easier if I did have a maid. LOL! My point is this, I can’t sew, I am not a superior cook, but my family is dressed in clothes that fit and they don’t go hungry, my home is lived in. I never had anyone really teach me to clean until I was a grown woman so that is a struggle of mine, does this make me less virtuous?)

3.      She expanded her family’s property holdings and planted additional gardens. She was up before dawn and burned the candle long after dark. (Hmmm? I am up before dawn but it’s caring for a child with needs that most children do not have. I’m up frequently late at night taking care of Monkey as well. Now I’m losing my job I don’t expand our income either; does this make me a failure?)

4.      She cared for the poor and needy in her neighborhood. She had a thriving home business and made fine linen and sold it. (Some days it’s all I can do to make it from getting up to going to bed.  I help when I can but should I feel guilty about not doing more?)

5.      She was a wise woman and the law of kindness was in her mouth. Unkind words never spilled out toward her children or her husband. She must have possessed a great deal of patience. (I’ve been known to raise my voice to get Monkey’s attention, I am certainly lacking here. And the law of kindness, well, I went and listened to Beth Moore speak on this and I do strive for it but I fail so often I sometimes wonder why try.)

6.      She did not eat the bread of idleness. She was busy all the time and never took time for herself. Yet, she was serene and blessed of her children, and received her husband’s praises. (I don’t know about you but sometimes it seems no matter what I do it’s not enough…is it just me? And I know that sometimes if I can get out for a pedicure alone and have some grown up time I’m a much better mommy, does this make me selfish?)

She has been described as a woman of excellence, the one woman we should try and emulate, yet when I read her list of accomplishments and how revered she was by her children and husband I feel like a total failure! I am nowhere near the Proverbs 31 woman. I am about as far away from her as the east is from the west. I may as well throw in the towel now because I’m so far behind I won’t even reach the starting gate before the race is over.

Ever feel that way? I am being completely honest here, I feel like I have no worth when I compare myself to the woman of excellence. Ms. Proverbs 31, you make me feel like a failure.

Then my Father in Heaven reminds me not to compare myself to anyone else. It says so in II Corinthians 10:12, “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” God will measure me. He will grow me at the rate he desires for me to grow. He will measure me by His perfect standard; after all, He knows my heart. He made me unique. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  

Thank You Father for loving me so much You sent Your Son to die for me so I could be called Your daughter. I love you…