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This blog entry is part 3 of a series. If you missed Part One or Part Two you can check them out so this makes sense.

 

It was a normal Friday in January. I was just working. Little did I know my entire life was about to change.The email was hidden among tons of spam in an account I rarely used. I was checking for a shipping notice. There it was. My breath caught. My heart skipped a LOT of beats. I burst into tears. Her name was in the subject line. When I opened it I read the following…

Hello,

I was born Becca Christine ___ in ___ 1987 in _____ AL. I am doing research on my family history. The name Margie Ann ___ has come up in some records. I am curious if you may be able to provide me with any information. If you can help me in any way, I would love to hear from you. If not, please disregard this email, and I apologize for taking your time. Thank you.

___

The first thing I did was check my clock. It was 12:11pm.  This was in the 12-12:30 window I have to call my husband at lunch, so I called him. We both cried. He asked what I had done and I said, “I called you!!!” We talked briefly and I replied to the email.

Hello _____

I would be happy to speak with you. My cell is ___-___-____. I look forward to hearing from you.

Ann

She called at 12:32pm. We talked for 2 hours. We cried, we laughed, and she told me she loved me. That is the thing. She loved me, she LOVES me.

My fears were washed away and I was filled with a peace I’ve never experienced before. This child I loved so dearly, completely, she loved me too. I’m so filled with gratitude to her parents. They told her that I loved her. The letter had been lost in a move but they made sure that she knew she was loved by me. They made certain she was secure in who she was and who she is in Christ. They did what I couldn’t; they raised her to be an amazing woman.

We’ve talked or texted every day since. I look forward to seeing her name on my phone. I look at her pictures and can hardly believe it’s real. It’s like a dream I’m having that is so good I’m afraid I’ll wake up and find it was only a beautiful dream. But each morning I wake and she is still really a part of my life. I feel complete now. Have you ever had an ache or pain that was there for such a long time you become accustomed to it? Then the pain is suddenly gone and the relief is overwhelming. That is the only way I can describe this feeling. I walked around for 25 years with a hole in my heart and now it’s filled.

Plans

You don’t have to knock me in the head with a brick, or maybe you do. At times I think I have a pretty good handle on my situation and other times I’m at a complete loss. I need to remember that it’s not my plans that matter, it’s the plans God holds for me.

Here is my brick upside the head day. Yesterday I was hoping to be at the end of a 3 day migraine. I had a very busy day planned and was so pleased that the pain was down to a low roar. Here was my agenda.

1.      Get Monkey up and ready for school.

2.      Get Red Bull (our French Mastiff) to the Vet’s for surgery.

3.      Return home with Bull and go straight to the orthopedic surgeon for follow-up.

4.      Grocery store for dinner ingredients.

5.      Get Monkey off limousine. (I know…she rides in a limo!)

6.      Cook dinner.

7.      Praise and Worship practice.

8.      Home, shower, bed.

But here is how it actually went down.

1.      Got Monkey ready for school.

2.      Limo arrived and her 1-1 for both the limo ride and school informed me of her 2 week notice.

3.      Went in the house and cried.

4.      Got Bull ready for the ride.

5.      Did an 180˚ on black ice and crashed into an embankment.

6.      Called AAA and discovered my membership expired 2 days prior.

7.      Was told they couldn’t send a tow unless I paid the renewal right then even though I could not get out of my car and my purse was in the trunk.

8.      Prayed.

9.      Cried

10.   Rejoiced at the Good Samaritan God sent to pour saltwater on my tires to get me out.

11.   Prayed for more help cause Good Samaritan #1 was unable to get me out of the mud.

12.   Rejoiced God send Good Samaritan #2 and #3!

13.   Rejoiced car was still drivable and no one was injured.

14.   Took Bull for surgery.

15.   Cost $100.00 more than expected.

16.   Anesthesia gas leaked in OR suite and I got my migraine back.

17.   Took Bull home.

18.   Canceled and rescheduled orthopedic appt.

19.   Tried to get pain meds into an uncooperative dog.

20.   Cried.

21.   Prayed

22.   Called Dear Hubby to come help.

23.   Took Excedrin.

24.   Lay down.

25.   Got up due to dog barking.

26.   Called school and spoke with principal to make a game plan.

27.   Discovered Monkey will likely miss 2-4 weeks of school until they find a replacement.

28.   Discovered they really want me to find a replacement (I did last time we lost one).

29.   Monkey came home.

30.   Cooked dinner.

31.   Went to P&W practice.

32.   Experienced the peace that only God can give.

It may seem like I’m complaining. I’m not. I am just demonstrating how different my day turned out from what I was expecting. The thought that perhaps God was putting me on a path for homeschooling Monkey wasn’t nearly as frightening as it was when He put me on the path to staying home. I’m not sure exactly what He has planned for us but I’m 100% certain that it is for our good and even though it’s not what I would have chosen it is what I want because God knows best. I believe He’s breaking me in slowly for the plan He has so I’m not terrified and have a heart attack! Regardless of how my day went, I know for certain that Jesus was right there with me the whole time. And He showed up in a big way last night to calm my frayed nerves and give the peace I needed desperately. God is good, even when the circumstances seem overwhelming because He is never caught off guard like I am.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Dear Lord,
 Thank you for the plan that you have for each of us.  Thank you for your Word that holds such peace and strength and promise.  I claim this for myself and for those who are sharing this scripture on this blog.  Let them, even now; be filled with peace and assurance. When all is in turmoil, and we cannot see our way to the end of the day, I thank you that you have a plan.  Help us to be open and receptive to what your desires are for our lives.
    In Jesus' name I pray,
    Amen

Lab…

I don’t know a single person who enjoys being sick that said I’m no exception and I had a really yucky weekend.  But I’m thankful to be back to work today and that Monkey has a loving person who helps with her while I was down for the count.

While I was flat on my back for more than 3 days, I’ll spare you the gory details, I remembered something that God had laid on my heart last week the morning of the dreaded yuck…when you are feeling down the best thing to do is pray for others. I actually posted something about it on my FB status asking for people to give me prayer requests. God knew that stomach bug was about to hit and I would REALLY need to pray for others!

I didn’t make the correlation at first, as I lay in bed thinking perhaps I would die, (I always think I’m gonna die when my head hurts that bad, I can envision the stroke about to happen) but as I prayed for Him to spare me; people’s faces came to mind.

First was the young lady who I have been praying for to give her life to Jesus, she is a sweet young lady and I have a love for her that goes beyond anything I’ve felt for a total stranger, much less a total stranger with a language barrier... She does my nails and when I see her I feel the love of Jesus inside me so strongly it makes me weep at times. Jesus died for her and He loves her…so do I.

Then I began to recall the others who had replied to my status and inboxed me. As I began to lift them up I realized, my pain wasn’t as bad, I was still unable to stand without falling over but it was bearable. I still couldn’t think of food without being ill but it was manageable.

There was also a song in my head playing on a loop. “There’s a fourth man standing there in the fire, there’s a fourth man standing there in the fire, you’re not alone, you’re not alone…” Indeed, I was not alone. Jesus was with me all the time and so was my loving husband who held my head and told me I wasn’t going to die. He even went out and got me soup, medicine and bread for toast…That’s Love!

I just love it when God shows us something in His Word and then He gives us the opportunity to walk it out personally to see how faithful He is. I have a dear friend who said one day, like when a professor teaches a class and then we have lab. It’s like lab. We learn the material and then we have lab. “Lab” ~ the opportunities to live out what He taught us and grow closer to Jesus in the meantime.

A Divine Perspective...

Divine Perspective…
If you have lived on this earth for more than a bit then you know the feeling that comes when you are faced with a dilemma that has no way out. No matter how you look at it you can’t see your way past the difficulty and before you know it things seem hopeless. Its times like this we need divine perspective.
This divine perspective can come from the most unlikely source. A friend, a news article, or perhaps even Christ Himself whispers words of encouragement to you through His Holy Spirit.
This morning I had the distinct honor to be someone’s divine perspective. She was all alone, miserable and heartbroken over the circumstances that had occurred in her life over the weekend. Long story short…she now feels homeless. She was staying with a family member who for unknown reasons kicked her out and now she is moving home…moving back into the home she grew up in when she was a child.
I knew the story. I’ve lived the story…so from my vantage point, this was actually a very good thing that had happened to her. But good things can sometimes be agonizing things all at the same time. This was an answer to many prayers for this young lady who we all worried was headed on a path to destruction.
Her parents have welcomed her home like the sweet little prodigal daughter she is and she is overwhelmed by the whole situation. Her parents are not acting like they did when she left…they don’t seem the same. Could it be that God used these circumstances to grow them both spiritually and they aren’t the same?
When I told her that this was actually an answer to many prayers she seemed a bit put off that I’d prayed in such a way but I didn’t ask for this, I asked for God to work all things out for her good. This is a promise that we can all claim, if we belong to Him and are called according to His purpose.
I recall the way God spoke His divine perspective to me one night in a hospital room, not long after the doctors came in and told me that if the next procedure didn’t work we might need to look into making arrangements for my sweet daughter. Romans 8:28 took on a new meaning to me right before her brain surgery.
“And we know that ALL things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
I’d read it many times but that one night it brought me to my knees on a cold, hard floor beside a bed in the PICU at John’s Hopkins. It became a part of who I am, God illuminated those words to me in such a clear and meaningful way I had no choice but surrender everything to Him, the only One who was strong enough to handle the situation. Jesus flooded me with peace…
Between my daughters’s brain surgery 2 and 3 my husband received salvation and is now a new creature in Christ. Jesus really did work ALL things to the good.
In this world there are unfair and mean things that happen; the death of a loved one, losing your home or job, illness of a child, a molester who abuses you or children, war and hunger, the list goes on. There are bad things out there, but in the light of Romans 8:28 I can see an eternal perspective on most all the things that have happened in my life and the lives of others…
If you can’t see how God is working all things to the your good, if you have never cried out to Jesus to save you then it’s time to fully surrender to Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.  Let this difficult time be used for your good…if you have never done so this is a prayer that you can pray to ask Jesus into your heart.
“Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward You. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. Jesus, please come into my heart and forgive my sins, cover me with Your blood and wash me clean,  become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”

Being Ready...

”Being ready always to give answer to every man that asketh you a reason concerning the hope that is in you, yet with meekness and fear:” I Peter 3:15

Yesterday morning while preparing for our day at Hopkins I thought I was completely ready for anything I would encounter. Hungry? I have oatmeal to go. Thirsty? I have bottled water. Bored? I have a bag of goodies to occupy a little one for hours. Oops, I should have said potty sooner? I have pull-ups, wipes AND Ziploc baggies to dispose of them without making a big stink! So you can see where I thought I was completely prepared…

The drive was pretty good, a couple of moments when my little monkey got frustrated but she did well all in all. Traffic was heavy, I was running late. I hate running late! Got into the city, police went flying past me on East Madison but I thought nothing of it. We were almost there, I was focused!

Apparently we were among the last of the people allowed in before they barricaded the doors, the lobby was like a ghost town and we didn’t have to wait for an elevator. I should have known something was up…

We were registering out front and there were very few people there. A woman came up to assist us with registration at the kiosk, and another woman walked past and whispered to her, “They said get everyone to the back now, the shooter is still at large.” Immediately I was filled with a peace and these words, “No weapon formed against you will prosper, I AM with you.” We were quickly ushered down a hall into an interior room. There were whispers of snipers and gunmen but I had peace from God. (No one really knew what was happening and you know how that is…)

The back waiting room was jam packed with people who were anxious and distressed. One woman was particularly upset and I assured her that Nelson building was very far from us and that we would be fine. She wanted to know how I could be so calm and that was when I realized, this wasn’t something I had prepared for this morning, but something we should all be in a state of preparation for. I told her about the peace that comes through knowing Christ and having a personal relationship with Him. We were there for a while and then called back to the procedure room and it wasn’t until then that I realized why we were there, to bring peace into a traumatic situation, to tell the reason for my hope and peace and how to know the only One who can offer hope and a future, Jesus Christ.

My little monkey’s appointment went well, much better than I anticipated. She allowed our sweet little doctor to perform the procedure with very little resistance. We were allowed to leave after the procedure and I promised a toy for good behavior so Toys R Us was our next stop. All in all, it was a day of worship, prayer and comfort.

I am ready to comfort others because I’ve been comforted. “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” II Corinthians 1:4 NLT