Trusting, No Matter What…

I have a story to tell. It is a true story. It happened to my family and changed us forever. Here is a small part of that story…

On March 11th 2006, I put my Monkey upstairs for a nap. She had slept for about an hour when my sweet husband said I should go check on her. It wasn’t unusual for her to nap for 1 ½ to 2 hours but he said he had a bad feeling so I went up. I’ll never forget opening her door and seeing her lying with her feet tangled in the blanket on the bed, head on the floor in a pool of blood, she was gray. Who knows how long it had been going on, she was having a seizure. I called out for Tommy to dial 911; it took 45 minutes for them to get to our home. She was in what is called status epilepticus for 10 hours. She bit the tip of her tongue off and the sides were badly chewed. (To this day Monkey has what she calls a BobBob tongue ‘cause the tip is square.) When she finally woke up the following day she didn’t know who I was. She was unable to move her right arm or leg. She couldn’t speak. After the doctors had gotten her out of status during her weeklong stay in the hospital one of the MRI’s showed a mass in the left side of her brain. We received the worst news any parent could ever hear, cancer, inoperable and terminal. This didn’t sound right to me, didn’t sit well in my spirit. I couldn’t believe it; they had to be wrong…

During this time I begged the Lord to spare Monkey’s life. My husband was not a Christian so I felt very alone in my pleas to the Lord. He would sit with me as I prayed but would not join me. I felt led by the Lord to take her from that hospital, a world renowned children’s hospital, so we made an appointment with a neurologist at Kennedy Krieger Institute for a second opinion.

I took Monkey to our pastor and the elders and requested prayer. They anointed her with oil and prayed over her with the entire congregation. During the prayer I heard God speak into my spirit “I will heal her and I will be glorified.” I knew that God would heal my daughter, although at the time I had no idea the path we would walk or the way He would chose to heal her. He is sovereign! He is always good, even when we hurt and the path is filled with tears, Jesus is with us always…

The neurologist at Kennedy Krieger told me that the “cancer” the first hospital diagnosed was not cancer. It was a mass, which either caused the seizure or was the result of it. This was music to my ears! NOT CANCER! An answer I had asked for so we began trying to control the seizures with medication. She failed every drug they gave her. She would respond during a brief “honeymoon” period but it never lasted long. By August 2006 our neurologist referred us to Johns Hopkins Pediatric Epilepsy Center because she failed to respond to medication and the seizures increased in frequency and intensity. She was hospitalized in the PICU 4 times during this time when her rescue meds didn’t work either. I found myself turning to the God and His Word more than ever.

Now I remind you here…God TOLD me He would heal her! He spoke it and I’m as sure of that as I am that I live on planet earth. But sometimes our answers don’t come instantly. I believe we live in a “microwave society” where everything we want is expected when we want it…or else! When the answer doesn’t come quickly and the situation is dire what do you do? Have trust and faith. Lean on Jesus and the people He sends into your life to help you through. He sent us people during that time. People, who prayed for us, came to the hospital, drove us to appointments, fixed us meals, took care of our other children, helped us with medication and hospital bills, nurses who showed us extraordinary kindness, doctors who treated more than the condition…they treated the whole child, friends who sat in our living room and watched me fall to pieces because I felt utterly shattered by this monster of epilepsy that ravaged my Monkey. Weeping and experiencing pain over a situation doesn’t mean you don’t trust, it just means you’re human. I thank God everyday for His mercies which are new each morning, I thank Him for giving me that Word of assurance that He would heal her to hold on to, it was an anchor and without it I believe I might have drowned in my sorrow. He knew exactly what we needed to get through the situation but more than that He knew we needed the situation to grow my faith, to bring us to repentance, my husband to salvation and Monkey to wholeness.

This story is not an uncommon one. According to the Epilepsy Foundation 200,000 new cases of epilepsy are diagnosed each year.  This is a testimony. Not my testimony, not Monkey’s either; it is a testimony of the healing power and love of a Savior.

If you don’t know Jesus as your Savior, below is a prayer you can pray to receive Him as your Lord. If you pray this prayer please let me know, confess Jesus with your mouth and tell others what He did for you!

“Father, I know that I have broken Your laws and my sins have separated me from You. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward You. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that Your Son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. Jesus, please come into my heart and forgive my sins, cover me with Your blood and wash me clean,  become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”

A Divine Perspective...

Divine Perspective…
If you have lived on this earth for more than a bit then you know the feeling that comes when you are faced with a dilemma that has no way out. No matter how you look at it you can’t see your way past the difficulty and before you know it things seem hopeless. Its times like this we need divine perspective.
This divine perspective can come from the most unlikely source. A friend, a news article, or perhaps even Christ Himself whispers words of encouragement to you through His Holy Spirit.
This morning I had the distinct honor to be someone’s divine perspective. She was all alone, miserable and heartbroken over the circumstances that had occurred in her life over the weekend. Long story short…she now feels homeless. She was staying with a family member who for unknown reasons kicked her out and now she is moving home…moving back into the home she grew up in when she was a child.
I knew the story. I’ve lived the story…so from my vantage point, this was actually a very good thing that had happened to her. But good things can sometimes be agonizing things all at the same time. This was an answer to many prayers for this young lady who we all worried was headed on a path to destruction.
Her parents have welcomed her home like the sweet little prodigal daughter she is and she is overwhelmed by the whole situation. Her parents are not acting like they did when she left…they don’t seem the same. Could it be that God used these circumstances to grow them both spiritually and they aren’t the same?
When I told her that this was actually an answer to many prayers she seemed a bit put off that I’d prayed in such a way but I didn’t ask for this, I asked for God to work all things out for her good. This is a promise that we can all claim, if we belong to Him and are called according to His purpose.
I recall the way God spoke His divine perspective to me one night in a hospital room, not long after the doctors came in and told me that if the next procedure didn’t work we might need to look into making arrangements for my sweet daughter. Romans 8:28 took on a new meaning to me right before her brain surgery.
“And we know that ALL things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
I’d read it many times but that one night it brought me to my knees on a cold, hard floor beside a bed in the PICU at John’s Hopkins. It became a part of who I am, God illuminated those words to me in such a clear and meaningful way I had no choice but surrender everything to Him, the only One who was strong enough to handle the situation. Jesus flooded me with peace…
Between my daughters’s brain surgery 2 and 3 my husband received salvation and is now a new creature in Christ. Jesus really did work ALL things to the good.
In this world there are unfair and mean things that happen; the death of a loved one, losing your home or job, illness of a child, a molester who abuses you or children, war and hunger, the list goes on. There are bad things out there, but in the light of Romans 8:28 I can see an eternal perspective on most all the things that have happened in my life and the lives of others…
If you can’t see how God is working all things to the your good, if you have never cried out to Jesus to save you then it’s time to fully surrender to Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.  Let this difficult time be used for your good…if you have never done so this is a prayer that you can pray to ask Jesus into your heart.
“Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward You. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. Jesus, please come into my heart and forgive my sins, cover me with Your blood and wash me clean,  become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”

Being Ready...

”Being ready always to give answer to every man that asketh you a reason concerning the hope that is in you, yet with meekness and fear:” I Peter 3:15

Yesterday morning while preparing for our day at Hopkins I thought I was completely ready for anything I would encounter. Hungry? I have oatmeal to go. Thirsty? I have bottled water. Bored? I have a bag of goodies to occupy a little one for hours. Oops, I should have said potty sooner? I have pull-ups, wipes AND Ziploc baggies to dispose of them without making a big stink! So you can see where I thought I was completely prepared…

The drive was pretty good, a couple of moments when my little monkey got frustrated but she did well all in all. Traffic was heavy, I was running late. I hate running late! Got into the city, police went flying past me on East Madison but I thought nothing of it. We were almost there, I was focused!

Apparently we were among the last of the people allowed in before they barricaded the doors, the lobby was like a ghost town and we didn’t have to wait for an elevator. I should have known something was up…

We were registering out front and there were very few people there. A woman came up to assist us with registration at the kiosk, and another woman walked past and whispered to her, “They said get everyone to the back now, the shooter is still at large.” Immediately I was filled with a peace and these words, “No weapon formed against you will prosper, I AM with you.” We were quickly ushered down a hall into an interior room. There were whispers of snipers and gunmen but I had peace from God. (No one really knew what was happening and you know how that is…)

The back waiting room was jam packed with people who were anxious and distressed. One woman was particularly upset and I assured her that Nelson building was very far from us and that we would be fine. She wanted to know how I could be so calm and that was when I realized, this wasn’t something I had prepared for this morning, but something we should all be in a state of preparation for. I told her about the peace that comes through knowing Christ and having a personal relationship with Him. We were there for a while and then called back to the procedure room and it wasn’t until then that I realized why we were there, to bring peace into a traumatic situation, to tell the reason for my hope and peace and how to know the only One who can offer hope and a future, Jesus Christ.

My little monkey’s appointment went well, much better than I anticipated. She allowed our sweet little doctor to perform the procedure with very little resistance. We were allowed to leave after the procedure and I promised a toy for good behavior so Toys R Us was our next stop. All in all, it was a day of worship, prayer and comfort.

I am ready to comfort others because I’ve been comforted. “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” II Corinthians 1:4 NLT