Keeping Up With The Kardashian's Part Deux

Yesterday I wrote about comparing ourselves and coveting what others have. Today I’d like to continue exploring the world of the Kardashians and look at other reasons why we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others.

To start it’s really very simple. For women who look at the standards that the world holds up on the TV and Fashion Magazines and tries to meet them; We will fail miserably or we might abuse our bodies trying to meet these standards for a while but they are unrealistic. And then we’ll feel badly because we aren’t thin enough, or pretty enough, or tall enough, and our skin isn’t clear enough. Our husbands will watch television and see women in their 20’s who have perfect bodies and women in their 40’s who look like they’re in their 20’s due to surgery and airbrushing and I know I can’t compete with that! I’ve noticed there will always be something that ISN’T ENOUGH. 

For the men, your muscles will never be big enough; you won’t be strong enough; your masculinity will never be quite manly enough.

These are LIES straight from the pits of HELL to keep us from focusing on who we really are in Christ Jesus! The Bible says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14 NIV.

When we compare ourselves to others and become depressed because God made us the way He chose to make us it’s a slap in HIS face. Think about that. Do you really want to be slapping your Maker in the face? Let’s stop slapping our Creator and start focusing on what He created us to do.

We should also not conform ourselves to others expectations. People are just that, people, and people, even Christians aren’t perfect. Is there someone in your life who is always telling you about your inadequacy? I’m going to tell you a little secret about criticism. The only criticism that is ever constructive is that which is told in love and is meant to build you up. It is only told face to face and NEVER behind your back.

Romans 14:10-13 AMP “Why do you criticize and pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you look down upon or despise your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God. And so each of us shall give an account of himself to God. Then let us no more criticize and blame and pass judgment on one another, but rather decide and endeavor never to put a stumbling block or an obstacle or a hindrance in the way of a brother.”

There is a promise in Isaiah 26:3 NKJV “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”So, if you are someone who has been listening to other people as they try to conform you to their expectations, take heart, this promise is for you. Keep your mind on Him and He will keep you in perfect peace. And if you’re one of the people who has a critical spirit, and we have to be realistic, we all do sometimes, well, when we keep our mind on God and not on someone else THEN He’ll keep us in perfect peace too.

So now let’s turn our focus on what God has for us. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 NIV

Think about that, He created us and He prepared the works for us to do in advance. They’re just waiting for us to do them. Let’s not become distracted by comparing ourselves to each other because if we don’t do the good works He has prepared for us to do either they don’t get done or He’ll find someone else to do them instead.

We can sugar coat it all we want but these scriptures have clearly told us not to do it, don’t compare ourselves in any way to anyone else. To do so is sin. Are you guilty of comparing yourself to others? Have you coveted others belongings? Have you looked at others gifting and wished they were your own? Have you looked at others ministries and thought, why doesn’t God use me like that? Do you look at others families and think they have less problems than your own? Or are you feeling puffed up with pride because your child is on the honor roll and your neighbor’s child is on drugs?

If you’re struggling with this don’t say I shouldn’t be struggling with this, confess it as sin and ask the Holy Spirit to help you overcome this, because face it, we can’t produce fruit on our own. There’s nothing righteous in us, without the Holy Spirit we’re hopeless but we have HIM living in us and He has promised to never leave or forsake us. He has also promised “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 So, let’s walk in the good works that God has prepared for us, living the abundant life that Jesus died to give us, and stop comparing ourselves to others.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

Have you ever flipped through the channels and seen something that caught your eye? When I was working, one of my co-workers and I were watching a show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and I was shocked by how unhappy these people are. They are incredibly rich, they have everything money can buy, and yet they appear miserable. Money can’t buy happiness. Yet they are what the media holds up as the America’s “Royal Family”. Why? They have the things we want. Perfect bodies, beautiful faces, designer clothes, fast cars, mansions, the list goes on and on…

So often we re tempted to look around us and see how others are doing, what they have, what they’ve been given, how they look, and compare ourselves to them. I know am guilty of this. I believe we all are at one time or another. That’s why the Apostle Paul spent so much time talking about comparing ourselves to others. He wrote these words of wisdom to the Church in Galatia.

“Do your own work well, and then you will have something to be proud of. But don't compare yourself with others.” Galatians 6:4 CEV

I’ve noticed in my own life how Satan tries to steal my joy by getting me to compare myself to others or getting me to conform myself to the expectations of others. These are both deadly traps that will steal the joy that God has for me. Whether in ministry, at work or at home, we are not to compare ourselves to others and yet we find ourselves looking around to see what our neighbor has or is getting or is doing. It seems that we’re never happy or content with what we have or what we’ve been given.

There are reasons why God doesn’t want us to compare ourselves to others. He didn’t just say this arbitrarily. It’s for our own good and I’d like to look at a few of these reasons a little more closely in this blog over the next 2 days.

One reason is we are not to covet what others have. It’s one of the Ten Commandments. Seems like a no-brainer, really, doesn’t it? But all you have to do is turn on the TV and you’re inundated with advertisements telling you that not only do you need this, you deserve it! Everyone else has it! You’ll be a loser if you don’t get it, and all of a sudden, the thing that you DO have that worked fine up until you saw that commercial, is no longer good enough. I mean, sure, it works but, it’s not, that OTHER THING. That “other thing” is so AWESOME! Well, next thing you know, you go out and buy it. And you have it, and you’re happy with it, until the NEXT new thing comes out. It’s a vicious cycle. Before you know it, you get the credit card bill and you’re in debt. God does not want us to be in debt. Seems like this might be a problem with our whole country right now.

“The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.” Proverbs 21:5 NIV

“If you love money and wealth, you will never be satisfied with what you have.” Ecclesiastes 5:10 CEV

Another reason we shouldn’t compare ourselves with others, is that there will always be someone out there who is doing a better job than we are. If we are putting our value and worth as a person in how good we do our job then when someone does a better job than us we’ll be devastated. We’ll be discouraged. And what if we LOSE our job?

Conversely, when we find someone who doesn’t seem as effective as us at their job we’ll be puffed up with pride.

Our worth and value as people should come from the fact that Jesus Christ came to die for us. Not from how we perform. We are now a Chosen People and the Bride of Christ. That is where our worth comes from. Both of these attitudes will rob us of joy. Neither of these attitudes shows the love of Christ to a lost and dying world, and isn’t that what we’re called to do?

Today I’ve written to my brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ, however, if you don’t know Jesus as your personal Savior, today could be the day you meet Him. Jesus came to earth, born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, and He chose to die a sinner’s death on the cross for you and me. He is the Son of God and He loves you so much He died for you. Eternal life is a free gift that has already been purchased for you. All you have to do is accept it. For more information please visit this website http://www.knowjesus.com/

Tomorrow we’ll look at some more reasons why we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. I hope you’ll join me.

An Excellent Woman Part II

Yesterday I lamented over why I feel so inadequate when I compare myself to the Proverbs 31 woman. Well, I didn’t exactly lament, I more or less griped. But honestly, I still feel inadequate when compared to her. So that makes me wonder, I know that God created me fearfully and wonderfully. Psalm 139:14, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” And yesterday I saw in II Corinthians 10:12, “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” So comparing ourselves to others isn’t wise.

Have I’ve been taught wrong all these years? Perhaps the Proverbs 31 woman isn’t the standard to live up to. She definitely was a virtuous woman, the Bible says so and the Bible is never wrong. We as people can misinterpret it and therein lays the issue. So let’s see why was she virtuous? Was it because of being the wife of a well-known husband? That leaves me out, he’s a great man but unless you live in our county you probably don’t know him. Was it because she was affluent? Count me out there! How about because she ran a home business and made sure she and her family were in the latest fashions? With so many losing their jobs, homes and barely scraping by I don’t think this was what made her virtuous either. How about being a good neighbor, wife and mother?

Was it the things she DID that made her virtuous? You could DO all these things and still not have virtue. And this brings me to the other virtuous woman in the Bible. She was the ONLY other woman in the whole Bible who was named as a virtuous woman. Can you guess who she was?

“And now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that thou requirest: for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman.” Ruth 3:11

What a contrast between Mrs. 31 and Ruth….

Rich ~ Poor
Important Position ~ No Position
Business woman ~ Farm laborer
Expensive clothes ~ Poor clothes
Children ~ No children
Well-known husband ~ No husband
Buys a field ~ Works in a field

Achievements and position in life a virtuous woman do not make…The contrast above makes that clear, so why did the Word of God list them as virtuous? What did they have in common?

~Both feared the Lord.
~Both were in subjection to the authorities in their lives.
~Both lived their lives for others.
~Both were self-sacrificing.
~Both had the law of kindness in their tongues.

The deciding factor for whether or not you’re a virtuous woman isn’t what you do or how much of it you do; it’s the heart behind those things. Ms. P31 didn’t dress her family nicely so others would notice how well she did and be envious, she didn’t keep her house clean so others would admire her and she wasn’t a virtuous woman because she was on the Praise and Worship team or sang in the choir. She loved the Lord and she had this as her motivation for all she did. She was a virtuous woman because she was fulfilling the plan God had for HER life. (So please forgive me for saying you made me feel inadequate yesterday)

It isn’t what we do or who others think we are that make us virtuous, it is having a fear and love for the Lord and living for Him, as a result we live a life of obedience. A woman who works in the 3yo classroom who receives little to no recognition just may be more virtuous than the woman who sings the solo’s in choir and has people clambering for her attention after service. It’s not what you do; it’s the heart you do it with. Whether His plan for your life is being a woman who owns a business and is famous or being the mommy to a special child who will always need assistance, as long as we try to be obedient to all He calls us to do we will be virtuous in His eyes.

When I see that God put 2 amazing examples of virtuous women in the Bible I see how me feeling like such a failure was because I was focused on the wrong thing, I was focused on her achievements, not on the woman who feared the Lord. Any woman can be a virtuous woman; any girl can be a virtuous girl; it’s just a matter of fearing God, loving Him with all your heart and being obedient to Him.

It’s a lie from Satan that there is such a thing as a Perfect Proverb 31 Woman. It’s a lie she was put there to be our standard and we should try to achieve her accomplishments, those were hers to accomplish. Not ours. It’s a lie meant to bind us up in legalism and tie us in knots because we can never achieve all God called her to do. God called HER to do that, NOT us!  It’s meant to make us feel like I did yesterday, like giving up, like I would never measure up.

Let’s stop this lie that is spreading throughout the Bride of Christ that we should be Super Woman and be set free to love the Lord, sit at His feet and learn to love and fear Him, to obey Him and to teach others the same. All one has to do to be a virtuous woman is to obey God. Everything else follows.

A Woman of Excellence

When we live busy lives there is so much pressure to live up to what we believe God wants for us. I’ve come to think that perhaps the pressure isn’t even so much what we think God wants for us but what others think of us. I know that when I first became a follower of Jesus there were classes offered all the time about the Proverbs 31 woman and how she was to be our “standard”. I think I nearly killed myself trying to do the things she did so I would be a “virtuous woman”. I mean seriously, she is held up as the standard of what all women should aspire to but have you really read Proverbs 31?

Here is a list of her accomplishments, read them and you tell me, do you measure up? I know I don’t!

1.      She had a wonderful marriage because she was an excellent wife and her husband was a wealthy man (has not need of spoil) because he could trust her to be thrifty. She has done her husband good all the days of her life. (I’ve known many women who are godly women and they live in a marriage that isn’t wonderful and it isn’t because they didn’t try! And what about those who don’t marry or are widowed?)

2.      She worked with her hands and created beautiful clothing for herself and family. She was a superior cook and not only fed her family but her maids as well. (HELLO!!! Do you have a maid? I don’t have a maid! But I guess this would be easier if I did have a maid. LOL! My point is this, I can’t sew, I am not a superior cook, but my family is dressed in clothes that fit and they don’t go hungry, my home is lived in. I never had anyone really teach me to clean until I was a grown woman so that is a struggle of mine, does this make me less virtuous?)

3.      She expanded her family’s property holdings and planted additional gardens. She was up before dawn and burned the candle long after dark. (Hmmm? I am up before dawn but it’s caring for a child with needs that most children do not have. I’m up frequently late at night taking care of Monkey as well. Now I’m losing my job I don’t expand our income either; does this make me a failure?)

4.      She cared for the poor and needy in her neighborhood. She had a thriving home business and made fine linen and sold it. (Some days it’s all I can do to make it from getting up to going to bed.  I help when I can but should I feel guilty about not doing more?)

5.      She was a wise woman and the law of kindness was in her mouth. Unkind words never spilled out toward her children or her husband. She must have possessed a great deal of patience. (I’ve been known to raise my voice to get Monkey’s attention, I am certainly lacking here. And the law of kindness, well, I went and listened to Beth Moore speak on this and I do strive for it but I fail so often I sometimes wonder why try.)

6.      She did not eat the bread of idleness. She was busy all the time and never took time for herself. Yet, she was serene and blessed of her children, and received her husband’s praises. (I don’t know about you but sometimes it seems no matter what I do it’s not enough…is it just me? And I know that sometimes if I can get out for a pedicure alone and have some grown up time I’m a much better mommy, does this make me selfish?)

She has been described as a woman of excellence, the one woman we should try and emulate, yet when I read her list of accomplishments and how revered she was by her children and husband I feel like a total failure! I am nowhere near the Proverbs 31 woman. I am about as far away from her as the east is from the west. I may as well throw in the towel now because I’m so far behind I won’t even reach the starting gate before the race is over.

Ever feel that way? I am being completely honest here, I feel like I have no worth when I compare myself to the woman of excellence. Ms. Proverbs 31, you make me feel like a failure.

Then my Father in Heaven reminds me not to compare myself to anyone else. It says so in II Corinthians 10:12, “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” God will measure me. He will grow me at the rate he desires for me to grow. He will measure me by His perfect standard; after all, He knows my heart. He made me unique. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  

Thank You Father for loving me so much You sent Your Son to die for me so I could be called Your daughter. I love you…